


Castiel's Secret

by Lovely_Sunshine_22



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Case Fic, Cassie is a protective mama, Crowley (Supernatural) Being an Asshole, Dean Winchester Being Dean Winchester, Dean's Amulet, Friends With Benefits, He takes after his uncle, I'm Sorry Castiel, Insecure Castiel, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nephilim, Oblivious Dean Winchester, Possibly Slow Updates, Pregnant Castiel, Theliel is a jokester, Top Dean Winchester, Unplanned Pregnancy, the rape/non-con is not destiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2019-09-25 15:19:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17123816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovely_Sunshine_22/pseuds/Lovely_Sunshine_22
Summary: A secret Castiel thought was safe is suddenly reviled when the angels find out what he had so carefully hidden away. Sam and Dean do their best to help their desperate friend, as they struggle not to ask any questions.[I've never written a worse summary, please don't judge this fic by the mess I've written above.]





	1. What happens in the past...

  
  
  


“ _ A nephilim has been discovered _ .” Was announced on angel radio. Castiel shot up in the stolen truck he had acquired. He had been hiding from a group of angels that wanted his head on a plate. They had almost gotten him, but he’d managed to flee in the truck. He had fallen asleep after driving for a few hours.  

 

“ _ What? A nephilim? That’s impossible, we ought to have felt it as soon as it was conceived? Who is the angelic father? _ ” another angel yelled over the radio.

 

Castiel started to panic; he thought he had hidden him well enough. How did they find him?

 

“ _ We must find it, and execute it _ .” A different angel announced.

 

No, no, no, no, they couldn’t have found him! He had hidden him away, somewhere no one would have found him. Away from hunting, away from this life. Away from Castiel. 

 

The angel shuffled over to behind the wheel and turned the ignition, trying to decide on how to keep the angels from hurting him. He decided to go to Sam and Dean for  help. They would help family, they always help family. He wouldn’t tell them about Theliel or that he was related to them, just that he needed help protecting a nephilim.

  
  


~~~

  
  


*13 & ½ Years earlier*

 

_ The apocalypse put a lot of stress on Team Free will, Dean especially. He would get frustrated easier, now that they were all crammed in Bobby’s house and he couldn’t go out; Demons were everywhere. Going outside of the warding would cause them a whole lot of problems that they didn’t want.  _

 

_ Dean would lash out, throw thing, yell at them. He would shout things like; “Why do we have to stop the apocalypse? Why not somebody else?” or “We don’t know how to stop it! What the fuck are we even doing?! Why do we even try?”  _

 

_ One evening Castiel had had enough; they were never going to be able to stop Lucifer if Dean wasn't at his best.  _

 

_ He cautiously came up to him after another one of his outbursts, “Dean?” he asked softly, not wanting to set him off again.  _

 

_ All he got was a grunt in response. _

 

_ “Dean, I was wondering if I could help you.” He shuffled awkwardly back and forth on his feet. _

 

_ Dean turned to face the angel, he'd never seen the angel this...awkward. Not since the strip club. _

 

_ “What do you mean ‘help me’?” he asked him. _

 

_ “Well, you’ve been angry- which is fair-minded. You want to go out, yes? Like you always do? But you can’t go out.” Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel. The angel  _ was _ acting oddly; he was usually more confident in his posture. _

 

_ “Where the hell is this going?” he asked. _

 

_ Castiel looked down at the floor and licked his lips before speaking, “It’s a bad idea, I just thought- I thought I could give you some relief. Uh, sexual-relief; I mean, I am aware that I am not female and, I do not have a-“ _

 

_ “Are you asking me to fuck you?” Dean asked disbelievingly. _

 

_ “Well, it sounds a bit crude when you put it that way-“ He was cut off as he was grabbed by the collar and dragged upstairs. _

  
  


_ ~~~ _

  
  


_ That wasn’t the last time they did this. Whenever Dean was angry or frustrated, he would take Castiel up to his bedroom and fuck him senseless. Sometimes Dean would fuck into him slowly, long and affectionate movements. Other times he’d go hard and fast, sharp and precise thrusts getting Castiel to scream out his name as he came deep inside the angel, and leaving him sore in the morning. _

 

_ This continued for months upon months as they tried to find a way to stop Lucifer. They never talked about it or mentioned it to others. It was just something they did, Dean would tell Castiel never to speak of it to anyone, and though Castiel was sad that it was little more than for Dean's relief, he was just happy to help the person he loved. He said nothing. _

 

_ He was in love with the hunter, but he would deny it if you asked, because it’s wrong. Angels aren’t supposed to feel. Not lust, and most definitely not love.  _

 

_ So, he kept it hidden, from the angels, Sam and Bobby and most importantly Dean. _

 

_ ~~~ _

 

_ The last time it had happened, was just after Sam had kicked Lucifer back into the cage. Dean was grieving and angry that he’d lost Sam. But instead of yelling and breaking stuff like he did more often than not, he converted all his anger into lust and pounded into Castiel with all the strength he had left, gripping his sharp hips so hard that it left marks, hitting Castiel’s prostate every thrust; the angel screaming in pain and pleasure.  _

 

_ But this time had been different. Things weren’t the same as before, and they never would be again. It had changed that evening, changed in a way that had never been heard of before. _

 

_ After Dean finished, he went to do what Sam told him to go do after his death; he went and found Ben and Lisa.  _

 

_ He left Castiel all alone in the bed, exhausted after Dean’s anger that had been taken out on him. A weak pulse of grace forming inside him. _

  
  


_ ~~~ _

  
  


_ It was in the beginning of the civil war in heaven, when Castiel discovered that he was with child. He didn’t understand how this could have happened, he was in a male vessel, but one thing was for sure; it was Dean’s. He had never laid with anyone else, nor did he want to.  _

 

_ He didn't get rid of it, he just couldn't. He knew it was selfish, but he loved them already, and he wanted them to love him back; he wanted something in this cruel world to care for him too. It was one of the only things of Dean’s he had left, this and the necklace Sam had given Dean when they were children. He found it in the trash, after Dean had tossed it away.  _

 

_ He wasn’t usually a sentimental person, but this was different. He knew he would never have Dean love him back; especially now that he lived happily with another woman and his  _ other _ child. He lived a normal, happy life, away from hunting and demons and angels. Castiel could never take that away from him, he cared too deeply for him. So, he kept the child a secret. _

 

_ It was a spontaneous decision, not as thought through as Castiel would have liked.  _

 

_ He carried it through term, hiding the bump when needed, and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. _

 

_ “Hello there, hi.” Castiel cooed at the newborn. He was still heaving from exhaustion. He was sore, he ached, but still- he had never felt happier. _

 

_ “Hello, I’m your mother. But not for very much longer. God, I wish this could be different” He smiled sadly down at the baby boy in his arms, tears forming in his eyes. He was at war, he couldn’t raise a child at this time; in a world where they would be fleeing all their lives. _

 

_ He didn’t have much hair, but the little hair his baby had was light brown like Dean’s. He looked so much like Dean; He was beautiful. And then there were the eyes. He had Castiel’s eyes, big blue orbs that always look so curious. They looked up at Castiel, and it made Castiel want to scream and curse at his father; he didn’t want to have to give him up. _

 

_ He named the boy Theliel as he carved the angel protection into his rib cage. Theliel wailed as light shone from his chest, Castiel held the child close- trying to soothe him. He knew that he had hurt him, but he needed to do it if he wanted to keep him safe. _

 

_ He used some of the little strength he had left to fly over to a small town where he had discovered a family that so desperately wanted a child. He walked up to their doorstep. He held Theliel close for the last time, breathing in his baby's scent. Castiel gave him a final kiss on his forehead and placed him on the doormat. As he placed him down he took the amulet out of the pocket of his trench coat and placed it around the neck of the boy. So, he’d have something of his father’s. Theliel deserved it more than Castiel did.  _

 

_ He picked up the corner of the blanket Theliel was wrapped in and used what little he had left of his grace, to write ‘Theliel’ on it. He wanted him to keep his name, he hoped this family would let him. He looked at his son for the last time, tears forming in his eyes. He would never see his little baby again. He smiled sadly. _

 

_ “Stay safe. I love you. I love you so much.” he told him. _

 

_ He stood up, wobbling a bit, and rang the doorbell as he stumbled away from the door. The last thing he heard was a person opening the door as he spread his broken and bruised wings, flying back to the place where he had given birth to his child. _

 

_ As soon as he got back, he crashed onto the bed, which was covered in blood and various other fluids, but he didn’t care. He cried for hours, not caring if anyone heard him. He cried and cried, until there were no more tears to be shed. He had read about the pain of a mother being separated from their child, but he had never expected  _ this. 

 

_ He felt like an empty shell. Carrying a small human being around inside you for nine months, and then giving them away, leaves a void in places you didn't think possible. _

  
_ With the last ounce of energy, he had left he whispered, “I’m sorry. I'm so, so sorry” before passing out _ . 


	2. Help him, Please

He had never told anyone about his child, he had needed to keep him safe. But the ache and longing hadn't left. Years later he could still feel him, in his heart- you could even say it was in his soul. A mother never loses a their connection to their baby and Castiel was no exception. The angel wasn't sure if he wanted to forget Theliel or not. He'd slowly come to realize he couldn't. He couldn't forget one of the greatest things that had eve happened to him. One of the only things he kept fighting for. 

 

So, he made his way to the bunker, to ask Sam and Dean for help.

 

Soon Castiel opened the bunker door and walked down the stairs to look for Sam and Dean. There was no one in the war room, just a few empty boxes of Chinese food and a couple of books- probably lore. He found them in the library bickering over something.

 

“Dean, it’s not rabbit food, it’s good for you!” He heard Sam say to his brother. Sam held up his green-tinted smoothie. If Castiel was to be honest, it didn’t look very appetizing.  

 

“I know it’s good for you but it’s disgusting! Why would you- _how_ can you, eat that stuff?” Dean retorted back. His face was pulled into a look of abhorrence.

  
  


Castiel chuckled gruffly at their fraternal bickering. They always argued over the most pointless things. In comparison to what they deal with on a day to day basis, they really do act like children. But Castiel found it nothing more than endearing.

 

The brothers looked up at Castiel as he came in to the library. They smiled at him, “Hey Cas, how you’ doing?” Sam asked him, putting his smoothie down next to him as he leaned against one of the many tables in the library.

 

Castiel smiled back at them, “I’m good, thank you.” His eyes were sad, he really didn’t want to burden them with his problems, but he had no other choice.  

 

Dean looked at Castiel quizzically, “It’s nice for you to come visit us and all.” He licked his lips, studying Castiel’s face, “But you’re here for another reason?” Dean deducted. 

 

Sam looked at Dean, eyebrow raised, before focusing on Castiel.

 

Castiel smiled sadly at them, and sighed, “Yes, I’m sorry that I didn’t come to visit under different circumstances,” Castiel apologized. 

 

“That’s okay Cas, there’s always next time.” Sam said reassuringly. 

 

Dean folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, “What’d ya’ need?” He asked the angel.

 

“Well,” Castiel started, he had to think. How was he to explain this without revealing too much.

 

“The angels have found a nephilim that I need to make sure is safe.” He shuffled a little bit. “And I need your help. I can’t take on the angels alone- if they find him, I mean.” He said shyly. 

 

Sam and Dean both wore confusion on their faces, “Uhm, a, uh. A nephilim?” Sam started, “You mean a  _ Nephilim _ , the half-Angel half-human hybrid?” He looked at the angel, who just nodded, “the one that the angels call ‘an abomination of heaven’? I thought they were extinct” Sam asked him not believing what he was hearing.

 

Dean sat up in his chair, “Wait, you’re an angel, don’t you think that they’re abominations or whatever?” He asked him. 

 

Castiel huffed, “No, of course not he’s- I don’t think anything is born evil, and this child-“ He stopped himself before he said too much. “It’s not a bad being.” He smiled at the thought of his son’s soul; it had been just as bright as his father’s.

 

Dean furrowed his brow at the angel’s words, “Okay,” He said slowly, licking his lips after wards. 

 

“Please, this child doesn’t deserve to die,” Castiel pleaded, his voice close to cracking. 

 

Sam looked at Dean, who spoke, “Who is this kid anyways? Why is he so important to you?” He asked him. Sam shot a look at his brother and was about to argue that that wasn’t their business, but curiosity got the best of him; he wanted to know who this kid was too.

 

Castiel panicked, he couldn’t tell them that it was his and Dean’s, so he had to come up with something else, “Um, it’s uh, it’s-“ He wrecked his brain for an angel name, “It’s uh. It’s Lahabiel’s.” He almost shouted, but he didn’t. He did not want to seem so suspicious. He blinked a few times before continuing. 

 

“He asked me to always make sure he was safe,” He lied. It was a stretch, but he couldn’t tell them the truth. 

 

The brothers shared a few looks before Sam stood up, “Okay then, I’ll go pack some stuff.” Sam then walked out of the library, leaving Dean and Castiel alone.

 

Dean stood up and made his way over to Castiel who was still awkwardly standing next to the table. When he stopped he was mere inches away from Castiel. Castiel’s heart beat fastened, he tried to act normal. 

 

Dean put his hand on Castiel’s forearm, Castiel looked at it before turning his attention to Dean, “Are you sure, that this kid is worth it?” He asked softly. Almost immediately Castiel answered, “Yes!” Dean gave him a look of confusion. Castiel cleared his throat, “I mean, yes I think we need to protect him.”

 

Dean only nodded before he walked away to his room to go pack some stuff to take with him.

 

Castiel could breathe again; he had missed the days when Dean would just drag him into his room with him. He craved the closeness of the hunter. He missed Dean's hands on his body, his kisses working down his neck, his words telling him,  _ praising him _ , how good he was for him. He knows it wasn't real, it was nothing more to Dean than a way to get off. That  _ he _ had been nothing more that a body for Dean to use; but it was better that nothing, right? Attention was attention, and that had been the best Castiel could've gotten.

 

Now all he had to worry about was his son, nothing could happen to him. He’d done almost everything imaginable to keep him safe; he’d even stayed away from him and everything that anything to do with him, but all in vain. The angels found him anyway. 

  
  


~~~

  
  


The three drove in utter silence as they drove over to Red lodge, Montana. Castiel had told them that that’s where the child would be. Dean didn’t know how he knew that, but he did.

 

Dean looked out at the road, thinking. Castiel looked panicked when they asked about what angel’s it was, and it took him a little bit to answer too. Dean wasn’t stupid; he knew Cas wasn’t telling the whole truth. Why couldn’t he tell them the truth? Unless maybe he’s- no that’s absurd.  

 

He decided not to think too much about it. Maybe he was just a bit nervous about facing his brothers and sisters again. Yeah, that’s all.

 

He looked over at Sam who had taken out his phone and was reading something. Nerd. He’s always reading some kind of article, if not an article some book or one of those stupid stories he'd found on the internet.

 

He considered the rear-view mirror. In the backseat he saw Castiel leaning on the window, smiling slightly. Dean himself smiled at the sight. It’s not often you see Castiel smile, or so he’s told. He sees Castiel’s smile a lot, but Sam says that he doesn’t smile much. Then Dean continues to tell him how he sees Castiel smile all the time. This then leads to Sam teasing him about how Castiel always smiles when he’s with him, and so on and so forth.

 

Dean’s always had a small crush on the angel, though he would deny it for all he’s worth if ever asked about it. He was pretty sure Sam knew about this  _ thing _ he had with his angel, that’s why he would tease him so much about it. Other people, demons and angels would hint at it too, but they could be trying to mess with his head.

 

Sometimes when the world was ending, Dean just wanted to tell the bastard how he felt, but he never found the time and when he did, he didn’t have the balls to do it; he would chicken out and call him his brother or someshit. Sometimes he wished he would have said it back when they used to-  

 

Dean sighed. It was too late now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I have a schedule for this shit? Idk, I might start doing a chapter a week maybe. Every Friday or something. 
> 
> Anywho, Thanks for reading. I know it might be boring so far but I hope it gets more exciting in the future!!(Do I know what's to come in the future? No. Not really.)


	3. Theliel

 

They crashed in the nearest motel, after driving for almost 32 hours straight. Sam had taken the wheel after an argument about Dean having almost killed them by falling asleep on the wheel. They had switched back after Dean had slept for a couple of hours. 

 

When Sam opened the motel door, Dean made a beeline to the bed nearest the door. He dropped his duffel bag on the floor, what he didn’t notice was that the bag was half open, and a few things fell out of it as it dropped to the floor.

 

“Uhm, Dean?” Sam said smirking slightly.

 

Dean grumbled as he sat up and looked at Sam. Sam was grinning like a child, as he pointed at Dean’s bag that had fallen over. Dean looked over at the bag, his eyes widening as he saw what had fallen out. 

 

Dean blushed furiously as he ran over and picked up the bottle of lube that had fallen out of his bag. He quickly put it back into the bag and zipped it up properly.

 

Sam walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, “its okay Dean, it's okay. We all have our needs” He teased. 

 

Dean glared at his brother, “You’re a child. I’mma take a shower, bitch” he announced as he stomped into the bathroom. 

 

“Good luck and Chuck’s speed, Jerk.” Sam called after his brother who stormed into the bathroom.

 

Sam looked over at Castiel who just sat by the table, confused.

  
  


~~~

  
  


The morning after, they all got ready to go to the diner that they saw as they drove into the town the day before.

 

As Sam and Dean got dressed, Castiel sat at the small table in the kitchen. He was nervous. He hadn’t seen Theliel since the night he was born. How was he going to find him in this place? Will he be able to spot him if he walks past? What if he couldn't find him? What if the  _ angels _ had found him? What if-

 

“Um, Cas?” Castiel looked up to see a fully dressed Dean Winchester. “Dude, you okay?” He asked worriedly. 

 

Castiel looked down at his hands, and then lifted his head to meet the hunter’s green eyes. 

 

“Yes, I am fine. Thank you for your concern though.” Castiel smiles weakly.

 

Dean nodded as he walked over to the mini fridge, mumbling something among the lines of, “Okay, whatever you say, man.”

 

But the truth is Castiel wasn’t fine. He was anxious. He hadn’t been this anxious since he was carrying Theliel. A mother should not get this anxious at the thought of meeting their child... Right?

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


“So, Cas?” Castiel looked up to look at Sam, who was turned around, so he could see the back seat. “Do you actually know where this kid is?”

 

“No, not really,” He answered honestly. 

 

“Well, that just great! How the hell are we supposed to find him then?!” Dean barked from the front seat.

 

Castiel’s face hardened as he spoke, “I might not know where he is right now, but I should be able to spot him in a crowed.” 

 

“That’s because of the grace in his system, right?” Sam asked, genuinely curious. 

 

“Yes, and no.” Castiel answered. Dean turned to face the backseat after he had parked the Impala, “Care to elaborate?” He asked the angel. 

 

Castiel looked out the window, “The grace should help, but it’s the soul that I should recognize.” Castiel smiled a small smile. “He had such a bright soul. Just like his fa-“ He quickly shut his mouth and looked wide eyed at the two men in the front, who both bore looks of utter confusion. 

 

“My apologise, I just, got a little distracted” Castiel apologized after a while of silence, “Let just go.” He said, opening the door of the backseat. 

 

The brothers looked at each other, silently asking each other if the other knew what the hell was going on with him. But Dean just shrugged and got out of the car. 

  
  


~~~

  
  


The diner wasn’t big, but not small either. They sat down at a table near the window. A bouncy waitress walked towards where they sat, “What can I get you?” she asked looking at Sam. “I’d just like a salad, thank you.” She nodded scribbling something down on her notepad.

 

She turned to face Dean, “What about you handsome? What can I get you?” She said with a smirk.

 

“Well you can get me a lot of things,” He winked at her, “but for breakfast I’d like some bacon and eggs, please.” He smiled.

 

“Anything for trench coat over there?” She said, gesturing to Castiel. He looked up at her. “No thank you, I don’t eat.” He answered before looking back out the window.

 

“ _ Okay _ then,” She said, dragging out the ‘O’. “Anything else?” She looked between Sam and Dean. They both shook their heads, “No thanks,” Sam answered.

 

She swayed her hips as she walked away to get their order.

 

“Dude, really?” Sam asked his bitchface coming in full force.

 

Dean just shrugged, “What?”

  
  


 Their order came, and they ate in utter silence, Sam scrolling through his small laptop, trying to find out everything he can about Nephilim. They were gonna’ need it. 

 

They finished eating and got the check, which had a phone number on it. Castiel glared at the phone number like it had personally offended him, before shaking his head slightly, turning and looking sadly out of the window. Dean wasn't his, he could do what he wanted. They paid, and Dean put the check in his pocket.

 

They made their way out of the diner and towards the Impala. That’s when Castiel saw it.

 

The brightest soul he’d seen since Dean’s. He stopped and looked at the soul; it was this bright almost white-ish coloured thing, which had blue grace swirling around it.

 

_ Theliel _ ,  Castiel thought. 

 

Dean noticed that Castiel had stopped and looked up at his face. His face had melted into a look of love and adoration. It was like he had de-aged about five years. His mouth was curled up into a small smile, his worry lines had completely vanished, and his eyes shone brighter than ever. The sight made Dean smile. 

 

He looked over at what the angel was looking at. He was looking at a boy. Not any older than 13, maybe 14 years old. He had light brown, almost blonde hair, he was tall, and he was wearing a pair of dark blue, worn jeans, a grey T-shirt and an old flannel shirt over it.

 

Dean walked over to Castiel, “That him?” He asked softly. The angel simply nodded, without taking his eyes off the child.

 

“Um, do you- Do you wanna go talk to him?” Dean asked, not sure if that would be a good idea or not.

 

“I-“ There was a slight pause, “I don’t know.” 

 

He looked over at Dean, his face gone from peaceful to pleading. He genuinely didn’t know how he was going to go about this. 

 

Should he go to him? If he did, what would he say? 

 

After standing there for a minute or so Castiel shook his head, “No. He mustn’t know of my existence. It would put him in danger that I wouldn’t want him in.” Castiel said sadly. As much as the angel would want to go up to his son and hug him, hold him and get to know him and everything about him; talking to him would make it easier for the angels to find him.

 

Sam walked up to his brother and his angel, “Guys, I think we should start off with protecting him from a far?” He suggested. 

 

They both looked up to him, nodding, before getting in the Impala.

 

~~~

  
  


Dean felt a little uncomfortable watching this teen, but he was doing it for Cas; Cas wanted his-  _ their _ help. 

 

Dean sat in the driver’s seat, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music playing softly on the radio as they slowly followed the boy. Sam sat shotgun, on his computer, still trying to read up on Nephilim. Castiel sat in the backseat, looking out for any angels, or as they figured could happen; demons. 

 

They sat there, for what felt like an eternity, before Castiel called out, “Angel! Dean, an angel!” his gruff voice echoing in the enclosed space of the Impala.

 

Castiel scrambled out of the Impala as quickly as could, Sam and Dean not far behind. 

 

Castiel ran into the small street Theliel had walked down, and stood between the boy and the angel, “Stop, brother. Please this child doesn’t deserve to die.” Castiel pleaded. 

 

Sam and Dean ran behind him angel blades in hand. The angel looked stunned. He looked between Castiel and the boy and smiled. 

 

“I thought I recognized the boy’s grace. But Castiel, how could you? It’s forbidden, you know that! Now I have to kill him _and_ you-“ Before the angel could finish Castiel drove his angel blade through the angel’s chest. He turned around, his eyes slightly glowing in anger at the mention of his son’s death.

 

“What- Cas!” Dean shouted. “Dude, we could have used him for info?!” Castiel looked back at the body and frowned. 

 

“My apologies, I, um,” He tried to think of something to cover up his parental instincts. “I, uh, I panicked.” He lied.

 

Dean looked over at Sam who just shrugged in response. That’s when they heard a small squeak from behind them.

 

They all turned around to find the source of the squeak. The boy, he looked terrified. He slowly raised his hand to point at Castiel, “What the -ever living- fuck, are you?” Castiel smiled, but didn’t say anything. 

 

“He’s an angel,” Dean answered oddly pride fully. 

 

The boy looked at him in disbelief. “Sure Romeo, but  _ what _ is he?” Dean scoffed and folded his arms.       

 

The boy shuffles a bit and licks his lip, “Was that man going to kill me?” He asked wearily. Castiel stepped forward, “Yes, Theliel, he was going to kill you but-“ 

 

“How the hell do you know my real name?!” Theliel barked. “Wait, are you really an angel?” He looked at him, his head tilted and squinting. If Dean didn't know any better (which he did) he would have said it looked identical to Castiel.

 

Castiel nodded. Theliel ran his hand through his hair, “Okay then, let’s say that I believe this bullshit, why would that dude- whoa!” he called as he saw the wings burned into the ground where the angel’s corps lay. 

 

“HE WAS AN ANGEL TOO?” Theliel shouted, wide eyed. 

 

“Theliel, stop shouting” Castiel said firmly stepping closer to the boy.

 

“Please- please don’t call me Theliel,” He said raising a hand to stop Castiel, “Call me Thel,” Castiel nodded in response, not moving. 

 

“So, who are you guys?” Thel asked the three men standing in front of him. 

 

“Oh, yes. I am Castiel, an angel of the lord. And this, this is Sam and Dean Winchester.” He said gesturing towards the brothers. 

 

Thel raised an eyebrow,  “Are they um...” He asked cautiously, waving his finger around in their direction. 

 

Castiel shook his head, “No, human hunters.” He said smiling. 

 

Thel looked over at Dean, Dean staring straight back at him. He recognized those eyes. Those eyes, he’d seen them before. But where? Dean decided to ignore it for now. They had more important matters at hand.

 

“Okay, I get that you’re all magical and stuff, but why would an angel want to kill  _ me _ ?” Thel asked the angel in front of him.

 

“You are a Nephilim,” Castiel said bluntly. 

 

“A Nephi- what?” Thel looked at Castiel like he had grown a second head.

 

“A Nephilim, a half angel- half human hybrid.” Sam butt in, giving the boy with a sympathetic look.

 

“Me? Half-Angel, yeah right!” He said pointing at himself before laughing hysterically. He stops when he notices that no one if laughing with him.

 

“Wait, are you serious?” He looks at Castiel, he feels like he can trust Castiel. This is odd because he just saw him kill a man- well, angel. But he feels he can trust him.

 

“Yeah, and Nephilim are hated by the angels, and wanted by all demons. So, basically, we need to keep you safe from those winged  _ and  _ horned dickheads.” Dean said his arms still folded. 

 

Thel looked between him and Castiel, “Wait why don’t you want to kill me? I mean you’re an angel, so?” He said to Castiel, a single eyebrow raised.

 

Castiel smiled, “I promised to keep you safe,” It wasn’t a complete lie; he had vowed to keep his baby safe, even if it killed him.

 

“Okay,” He said wearily, “So if everything is after me, what do we do next?” He asked strategically. 

 

Dean smirked before speaking, “Okay kid, you’ll probably have to go home and tell your parents-“ He stopped when he saw the kid’s face, it had dropped as soon as he mentioned his parents. He looked down, “My parents died when I was 3, they found me in my crib in the living room unharmed, but my parents had their throats slit, and the attackers... their eyes were burned out. They never found out what happened.” He looked deep in thought, “Cas- is it okay that I call you Cas? Cause, Castiel is like, three syllables to long and stuff.” Castiel nodded, the question turning his worried frown into a smile. 

 

“Cas, was that you? Did you burn their eyes out?” Castiel shook his head.

 

“No Thel, that was you.” Castiel said proudly, but he tried to hide it.

 

“What?! Me! I did that?” Thel said wide eyed, “Awesome,” he finished smiling. 

 

Castiel chuckled softly, he already loved Theliel more that he cared to admit, and he’d only really known him for about five minutes. What really made him happy though, is how much Thel was like his father. He could tell already that they were either going to butt heads or they were going to get along like best friends. He really hoped they'd like each other. 

 

“So where are you staying then? If you don’t live with your parents?” Sam asked him kindly. 

 

“I live in the adoption home-care center thingy,” He said, he sounded irritated at the mention of his ‘home’ 

 

“Um, do they take care of you there?” Sam continued, which made Thel scoff.

 

“Take care of us? That’s where people dump us when we have no other family,” He said folding his arms, “They don’t even care if we leave. I swear they probably don’t even know our names.” He confessed, shrugging.

 

“Okay, does that mean you can come with us?” Sam asked Thel, who unfolded his arms, and his face lit up with hope.

 

“Yeah, I guess so.” He said beaming with enthusiasm. 

 

Castiel could feel the excitement radiating from his soul and grace. “Come on, let's go then.” Dean said, his patience running out.

 

They all made their way to the impala, but not before Castiel used his grace to get rid of the angel’s body. Sam and Dean sat in the front seat as usual, and Castiel and Thel in the back.

 

“Sweet ride,” Thel commented, which made Dean beam with pride. Castiel smiled; they both liked cars.

  
They drove back to the motel and got into the motel room, where Sam sat down at the table with his laptop and Dean and Thel sat down in the small sofa, looking exactly the same; the same posture and everything. Castiel stood in the corner admiring the sight; he never,  _ ever _ thought he’d get to see this, Dean and his son sitting next to each other. Dean might not know that this is his son, might not ever know but, it was good enough for Castiel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote a lot of this like, a year ago, so if some of the writing is shitty I'm really sorry :/
> 
> Also, props to me for original chapter names lmao.


	4. An Unwanted Surprise

They decided that if they were going to be living together, they should at least get to know each other.

 

Dean was telling his stories from what had been going on for the past 14 – 15 years. He told him all about the apocalypse, all about purgatory and the leviathans, he told him about Bobby and Garth and all the other hunters that they had known, loved and lost. And Dean even told him about the mark of Cain and the Darkness. He left out the the details about his murderous tendencies, though.

 

“Wait so you know God?! Like, the real “I’ll smite thou”, capital G, God?” Thel asked him disbelievingly, Dean chuckled.

 

“He prefers the name Chuck, actually.” Sam told him, his eyes glued to the screen of his laptop.

 

“You know God, or Chuck. That is fucking awesome!” Thel looked at Dean in awe. Castiel could already see how much his baby admired his father. But what he didn't quite agree with, was his inheritance of Dean's fowl mouth.

 

“Know him! We lived with him, He lived with us in the bunker I told you about. He made us pancakes,” Dean paused, thinking, “And he would sing really annoying folk songs in the shower.” He said, furrowing his brow. Thel started laughing. Soon enough they were all laughing, even Castiel. 

  
  
  


~~~

  
  


Later in the evening Sam and Castiel went out to get dinner for the four of them. Leaving Dean and Thel alone in the motel room.

 

“So, Thel. Tell me about yourself.” Dean looked over at Thel.

 

“Well, there’s not much to tell really.” Thel looked at Dean. “I showed up on my mom’s doorstep as a newborn. Like, just came out of the womb newborn. Or, that’s what the file said anyway. I was wrapped in a small blanket which had the name Theliel embroidered onto it and this around my neck,” He said lifting up an amulet that hung loosely around his neck.

 

Dean gaped at the amulet wide eyed, he couldn’t believe it. It was his amulet, the one that he’d thrown away when he and Sam had that big argument. 

 

He reached forward, grasping the amulet, jaw hanging slack. How did this kid have his amulet? 

 

“Where did you get this?” He asked even thought he knew the answer. 

 

Thel, who sat there a bit confused over the reaction he got from Dean,  answered, “Um, I told you. I had it when- “ 

 

“I know- but where did they get it from?” Dean looked up at Thel, “Your mother or father, I mean,”

 

Thel looked at him, “Um, I don’t... know, obviously. Why do you want to know?” he asked Dean.

 

“Because this is my old amulet, the one I threw away 14 years ago…” He said looking up into Thel’s eyes. The boy’s blue eyes, he could swear he recognized those eyes, but from where? 

 

In that exact moment, someone knocked on the door. The pair looked at the door before Dean stood up, taking the gun out of his belt. He crept up to the door and opened it slowly and silently.  He knew it wasn’t Sam or Cas, because they’d just waltz right in.

 

On the other side of the door stood a man, his back facing the door, as if he were looking out for something, or someone. 

 

Dean was about to ask the man what he wanted when Thel screamed, “He’s an angel! Dean, watch out!” and as soon as those words left Thel’s mouth, Dean knocked the stranger out.

  
  


~~~

  
  


The two sat on the bed in the main living area as they waited for the unknown angel to regain consciousness. 

 

“So, um, Thel. How did you know that this dude was an angel?” Dean asked the teenager. 

 

“Um, well. First of all, there is this blue-ish light in the middle of his chest, other people normally have a white-ish looking light so, there’s that. And second of all he has this  _ aura _ about him.” Thel pursed his lips, “Ugh, I sound like some kind of frikken, psychic.” The statement made Dean chuckle. 

 

Thel was about to add something when the mysterious angel starts to stir. When he finally does wake up, Dean practically jumps out of the bed and walked over and grabbed the angel’s collar.  

 

“Who are you!” Dean barked.

 

“Dear  _ Father _ , Dean Winchester. You’re not one for patience, now are you?” He asked calmly.

 

Dean growled, “Just answer the damn question!” he tightened his grip on his collar.

 

“Okay, whoa there Alpha, I’m Gavreel, Angel of the Lord.” He paused, “But you already knew that didn’t you?” He said looking at Thel, who had stood up and was now standing behind Dean, his arms folded. 

 

“Okay,  _ Gavreel _ ,” Dean started, “What do you want?” he asked lessening his grip on the collar.

 

“I’m not here to hurt the Nephilim, quite the opposite actually. I’m here to help.” He said convincingly, looking up at Dean.

 

“And how the hell am I supposed to trust you? Everything on the damn planet is after him and you wanna ‘Help’?” Dean took a step back, letting go of his collar and folded his arms.

 

Gavreel thought for a second, looking around the room, “My jacket, the inside pocket, there should be an angel blade. Take it. An angel should never give anyone their angel blade. But I need you to trust me. I only want to help the Nephilim. Killing it is not right.”

 

Dean walked over to the chair where they had placed his jacket. He picked it up, opened it and took out an angel blade. 

 

Dean and Thel shared a few looks, “Okay then.” He seemed trustworthy. Dean made his way back over to the angel and took the Enochian cuffs off, putting them on the table next to them. Gavreel rubbed his wrists before he stood up and sat down on the small love-seat that was in the corner. 

 

“So, um. You know Lahabiel too?” Dean asked the angel. 

 

Gavreel looked at Dean, confusion plastered on his face, “Lahabiel? Why would I know Lahabiel, and what has that got to do with this?”

 

Dean licked his lips and furrowed his brow, “Um, because Thel is his kid?” 

 

Gavreel looked as if he was about to start to laugh, “This? Lahabiel’s child? Yeah, no Cosmo. Lahabiel died in battle over a million years ago.” Gavreel stated raising an eyebrow at the now even more confused hunter. Things weren’t adding up in his head.

 

“What do you mean, he’s dead? Cas said that Thel was Lahabiel’s son?” Dean asked befuddled.

 

“No that’s not Lahabiel’s kid. He’s dead, and if he wasn’t, he would never father a Nephilim.” Gavreel said confidently.

 

“Uhm guys? You know I’m standing right here?” Thel said waving his arms around, “I can hear everything you’re saying?” they paid him no attention.

 

“But- but Cas said?” Dean was lost, Castiel had told them that this was Lahabiel’s child. This fuels his unwanted theory. But Gavreel could be lying. He had to be.

 

“Well, maybe Castiel is the one lying. He tends to do that.” The angel spat.

 

The comment infuriated Dean, “Don’t call Cas a liar. He doesn’t lie!” He growled before blinking twice, “Okay he does, we all do and it’s only for the benefit of others or he’s trying to help!”

 

_ Or he's trying to keep me safe _ , Dean’s mind unhelpfully supplied him, but he quickly shoved the thought away. 

 

In that moment Sam opened the door and walked in, his hands full of food.

 

Castiel walked in behind him an excited smile plastered on his face. But as soon as he saw the angel sitting in the corner, his face fell, and he flew across the room grabbing the front of the angel’s shirt menacingly.

 

“How did they find him!?” Castiel demanded his gravelly voice thundering across the room, shaking Gavreel for the emphasis of emergency. 

 

“What are you talking about?” Gavreel asked innocently.

 

“Goddamn it,” Castiel’s eyes started to glow in anger. “How did they find him, I’ve been keeping him hidden for years, staying away from his just so you couldn’t find him. Then you suddenly out of nowhere I hear that he’s been found. You don’t expect me to be angry!? Now tell me, HOW THE HELL DID THEY FIND MY SON!” Castiel’s voice boomed. But when he realized what he’d said he panicked, letting go of the other angel he turned to face the three Winchesters. 

 

Castiel stood there frozen. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He felt his heart get heavier and his eyes started to burn. He could already feel the rejection, the shame, the anger. So, he ran. He ran out of the motel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. I'm sorry if the characters don't seem 'accurate', it's very hard to write Castiel's reactions to things and circumstances that he's never (and let's be honest, will never) be in. I will try my best to make the characters more like canon, but again it's really hard. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


	5. Still our little secret

Dean was still in shock when Castiel ran out of the room. Thel was Castiel’s kid. He was right, he didn’t want to be right, but his theory had been correct. He didn’t get much time to grieve or sulk because Sam yelled at him, “Well?! Go after him!” he didn’t have to tell him twice. Dean ran out of the door as fast as he could, ran out after his angel.

 

Dean couldn’t believe it. Cas had a son. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. He didn’t own Castiel. He could do whatever he wanted, with whoever he wanted. He could have sex with whoever he wanted. Dean did, but that was usually to try and forget Cas. It didn’t work very well. 

 

But it made sense. The eyes. Theliel’s eyes.

 

He knew he'd known those eyes. He felt stupid for not recognizing them. For not recognizing Castiel’s beautiful eyes. 

 

He was sad that Castiel had had a child with another woman, and the fact that he didn’t tell him. He didn’t say anything? Why didn’t he tell him anything? They were supposed to be best friends. Even if Dean was a shitty best friend, this wouldn’t be something Cas would hide from him? But it was.

 

When he found Castiel, he was pacing back and forth in the small forest behind the motel. He suddenly stopped and sat down, up against a large Larch tree and pulled his knees up to his chest. That’s when Dean heard it.

 

The angel was crying.   
  
  


~~~   
  


 

Castiel paced back and forth as he collected his thoughts. They were flying all over the place. He didn’t even understand why he was getting so emotional about this? He was never like this!

 

He sat down up to the closest tree and pulled up his knees to chest and pressed his face into them. 

 

Castiel couldn’t believe that he’d just said that, he was trying so hard to keeping it a secret. And then he blew it. He told everyone. How did he ever think he was going to be able to keep it a secret? He told Sam, Thel and-

 

_ Dean. _

 

That was the worst part. Dean was going to hate him. 

 

Oh God, the pain, shame and even the eventual torture from the angels he could take and live with. But Dean hating him, he could never live with that. It’d happened once before, and he had never felt greater pain.

 

Tears were streaming down his face before he could stop them. He hadn’t cried since he thought he had lost Dean, thought he had failed to save him. Metatron had killed the man he loved and hadn’t been there to save him. 

 

He sat there in the forest behind the motel, his back up against a tree, crying.

 

He was crying. He had failed. He was a failure. He was no angel. Angels don’t cry, angels don’t fall in love. Angels don’t bare children. He hated himself. Dean was going to hate him too. The angels were going to kill Sam, Dean and Thel. And then he would be left to rot in heaven's prison, until they felt like ridding themselves of the nuisance that Castiel was.

 

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard leaves crunching as someone walked up to him. He didn’t look up, but he tightened his arms that were wrapped around his knees. He figured it was Dean, here to yell at him or something like that.

 

What surprised him was that the figure sat down and pulled him into a hug.

 

Castiel looked up at the unknown figure, surprised to see it was Dean. He stiffened when he saw him. Dean noticed and shushed him calmly and rubbed circles on his back.

 

“You- you weren’t supposed to find out,” Castiel choked out in between sobs. 

 

“Cas it’s okay- “

 

“No, it’s not! It’s not okay!” he broke down. He looked up at Dean.

 

“They’re going to kill him,” Castiel whimpered, placing his head on Dean's chest.

 

That’s when Castiel realized.

 

Dean doesn’t know the child is his. Castiel hadn’t revealed too much. Their relationship might be salvageable. But Dean now thinks that Castiel had slept and had a child with another woman...

 

It doesn’t matter. He could think that for now. Just as long as he didn’t know Castiel had failed to keep their baby boy safe.

 

The two sat there for a while, Castiel weeping into Dean’s shoulder, before Dean picked Castiel up, bridal style, and carried him back to the motel room.

  
  


~~~

  
  


Sam was stunned. Cas had a son, a son that he hadn’t told them about. He had always thought he and Dean had something going on. This might have happened before that? if there ever was a before.

 

Sam figured that maybe he didn’t tell them to keep him safe.

 

He stood in the motel room after he had told Dean to go after Castiel. Thel was there, but also a man- or angel as he had deducted from the way Cas reacted to seeing him.

 

He studied the angel, he was wearing a plain white T-shirt and jeans. He had brown hair and gray-ish eyes.

“Um, Hi? I’m Sam Winchester,” Sam introduced himself to the stranger, reaching his arm out for a handshake.

 

“Ah, yes. The infamous Sam Winchester. I’ve heard of you. I’m Gavreel” The angel turned to face him. Sam raised an eyebrow at the answer and awkwardly pulled his arm back.

 

“Apocalypse? Ring a bell?” Gavreel asked, sass fueling his response. 

 

Sam nodded and licked his lips.

 

Then he looked over at Thel. The kid still sat on the bed. His face was pale, he looked as if he’d seen a ghost. Or if he’d just found out what angelic his father was. 

 

He walked over to Thel and sat down on the bed next to him. He placed his hand on his back and rubbed up and down.

 

They sat there in silence before Theliel spoke, “So, Castiel is my dad,” He said, Sam wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement.

 

He thought about what he could possibly say, but in the end, all he got out was, “Yeah, yeah he is.” It’s not the most intelligent thing Sam had ever said but nothing else came to mind. He couldn’t imagine what was going through the kid’s head.

 

Thel looked up at Sam with pleading eyes, Sam could see Cas in the boy’s face, but there was something else too, something he couldn’t put his finger on.

 

“Did- did you know? That he was my dad, I mean?” Thel asked.

 

Sam averted his gaze, “No. No, I didn’t.” He had noticed that Castiel had acted weird when they’d asked about the father of the Nephilim, but he didn’t think anything of it. Then he’d seen the look on Castiel’s face the first time they saw Thel. He’d looked like a loving parent, which, turns out, was true.

 

“Oh,” Sam and Theliel looked up at the other presence in the room.

 

“What?” Sam furrowed his brow at the angel.

 

“How odd,” He continued.

 

“What?!” Sam and Thel said in unison, glaring daggers at Gavreel.

 

“Congratulations Sam,” He smiled at Sam who looked at him in confusion, “You’re an uncle.”

 

“What? How the hell am I an uncle. Dean doesn’t have any kids?” Sam looked at the angel in disbelief.  _ Not anymore anyways. _

 

Gavreel smiled at Sam with a sincere smile, “Castiel isn’t the father.” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

The hunter looked at him as if he’d grown a second head, “What the hell do you mean, Cas isn’t the father? He said so himself?!” 

 

“This is his son, but he isn’t the father,” Gavreel stated, “He’s his mother,”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> V emotional Cassie, v concerned Dean and v confused Sam and Thel. 
> 
> I downloaded Duolingo on my phone but I keep forgetting to play, so if y'all don't hear from me for a while, call the police. The owl is after me.


	6. Taken

Sam looked at Thel, whose mouth was hanging open. He stood up and stormed out the door, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

Sam watched as the boy walked out the door, shutting it behind him. He turned to face Gavreel.

 

“What the hell are you talking about, how the fuck is Cas the mother? He’s a dude?” Sam tried to read Gavreel’s face to see if he was lying. He wasn’t.

 

“An angel knows the heritage of the person they are looking at, most of the time, anyway.” Gavreel stated, he pursed his lips, “I don’t know how to explain this. The first time I was “matching” different angel to Theliel, to try and see if he was their child, or anyway related to them, but none of them matched. That’s because I was looking to see if they were related from his father’s side, But they’re not related at all from his father’s side, are they? That’s because Castiel isn’t the father. Someone else is,” He said it as if Sam would know the rest.

 

Sam stood completely still as he took in the information. Castiel had a child, not just that. He’d carried him himself. He gave birth to Thel himself. When had this happened?  _ How  _ did this happen? How the hell does that even work?

 

Sam stood up, running a hand through his hair, processing everything. Thel was Castiel son. That’s why he was so desperate asking for their help. But why, why hadn’t he told them he was pregnant? This had happened what? 13, 14 years ago? Wait, wasn’t that when they were trying to stop Lucifer and the apocalypse? 

 

Sam didn’t remember Castiel looking pregnant at the time? And he was pretty sure, as far as he knew, Castiel had lost his virginity with April, the reaper that killed him. But apparently not.

 

Maybe it happened while he was in the pit with Lucifer? But that was when Castiel was at war? He fought in the war pregnant. Jesus. That is so fucked up.

 

But that means someone slept with Cas. Sam scrunched up his nose at the image of Castiel having sex with another dude. but let’s face it that’s the only way this could have happened.

 

“So, uh who’s the- HOLY SHIT” That’s when he realized. Gavreel had said he was an uncle. That only left one more suspect.

 

Dean. Dean was Thel’s father. He knew he recognized those facial expressions. It only now hit him how alike they had been. He hadn’t paid any attention to it before, but now that he looks back on it.

 

He chuckled nervously. Of course. Who else would take Castiel’s virginity…

 

He turned as the door opened and Dean walked in, Castiel curled up in his arms. Castiel’s eyes were red and his breaths haggard. The angel nuzzled against Dean's chest as he walked over to the other room and placed Castiel down on to the bed. He whispered something in his ear before he walked out and closed the door behind him.

 

“So?” Sam whispered to his brother.

 

“So, what?” Dean whispered back.

 

“So, is he- like, is he okay?” Sam looked at Dean expectantly.

 

“He’s okay, I guess. He thought I would hate him if I knew?” Dean sat down in the chair Gavreel was tied to, what felt like mere minutes ago, “Why would he think that?” he put his head in his hands.

 

Sam looked over at Gavreel and they gave each other a silent ‘He doesn’t know’ before they turned their attention back to Dean.

 

Sam stepped over to Dean and patted his upper back, “Oh, you know how he is,” he said, trying to sound as convincing as possible, he wasn’t even sure  _ he _ believed what he was saying.

 

Dean lifted his head from the palms of his hands and looked up at Sam, a single eyebrow raised.

 

“Uhm, where’s Thel?” Dean attempted to change the topic of discussion. 

 

“He stormed out a little bit after he found out, we’re not exactly sure went-“

 

Dean abruptly stood up, “You let him go out on his own?! With every-goddamn-thing on this planet after him?!” Dean looked between Sam and Gavreel in non-belief. Dean had silently regarded it as his mission to protect Thel. He didn’t know where this instinct came from but he tells himself it’s because it Cas’ kid. Yeah, that’s why.

 

Sam’s silence was the only answer Dean needed before he grabbed his jacket he’d forgotten when he ran after Cas and ran out the door. Sam and Gavreel quickly followed suit.

 

Dean stormed out across the parking lot in search of his best friend’s child. He stopped as soon as he spotted Thel. He stood and watched in horror as a largely built man carried Theliel like a potato sack over to a small van. Theliel was unconscious. 

 

“Hey!” Dean shouted angrily at the man. He started running towards the van when the man saw him. The man threw Thel into the back and shuffled over to the front of the van and got in.

 

When Dean got to the van, the man had already turned on the ignition and was backing out of the parking spot. Dean ran after the van as fast as he could, trying to catch up, but the van was too fast and soon enough Thel and the mystery man were out of sight.

 

Sam caught up with Dean quickly with his long gigantor legs. He was catching his breath, “Who was that?!” 

 

Dean looked up at his brother, “He seemed to recognize me so that rules out your run of the mill pedophile or child abductor.” Dean stated.

 

“Angel you think?” Sam suggested. 

 

“No, he would have just killed him on the spot.” Dean replied, deep in thought, “Demon maybe?” Dean asked, wiping his hand down his face.

 

“Yeah probably.” The two started to walk back over to Gavreel who stood outside of the motel, he had stopped running long before Sam or Dean.

 

They all walked back into the motel room and Sam spoke, “Guys, we’re gonna have to tell Cas that a demon took his son.”

 

Dean huffed out a breath, imagining how that conversation was going to go.

 

Sam sat down at the table and opened his laptop, “Okay,” He typed something into the computer, “So,” He looked up at Dean and Gavreel expectantly, “You just gonna stand there or are you going to help me find my neph- Cas’ son?” 

 

Gavreel noticed the slip up, and glared at him, but it didn’t look like Dean noticed. He was too deep in thought. 

 

Dean felt slightly dizzy. Everything that had happened today; Meeting Thel, Gavreel helping them, finding out that Cas was a dad. That had come as a big surprise. This must have happened just after Sam fell into the pit, wow. It didn’t take Castiel very long to replace him, did it? The thought of Cas with someone else made Dean’s heart clench. But this isn’t about him, he needs to find Theliel. For Cas.

 

~~~  
  
  


When Thel woke he had been propped up against a wall in a small room. He looked around, examining his surroundings. The walls and floor were made of concrete, and there was a small barred window to his right. 

 

_ Okay, not a small room, a cell. Shit _ ,  Thel thought to himself.

 

He stood up and explored what little he could in the small room. He walked up to the window to look out, but it was too high up for him to see outside; all he could see was the night sky.

 

_ Okay, it's either been maybe a couple of hours or a couple of days. Good to know. _

 

He turned away from the window and was faced with what looked like a steel door. He stepped up to the door and tried to open it. No use, the door didn’t budge.

 

He turned around and placed his hands on his hips. As he did that he noticed the bed in the corner.

 

“Oh, come on! You could’ve at  _ least _ put me on the bed!?” Thel complained, his back and butt still hurting from sitting for who knows how long on the concrete floor.

 

He made his way over to the bed and sat down on it. He clapped his hands together and placed them on his knees, hunching over slightly.

 

He took a couple of minutes to go back over everything that had happened today, or yesterday (he doesn’t know; because somebody decided that now would be a good time to kidnap him). This had been such a weird experience, like something that would happen in a book, or maybe a television show. He lived a normal life- a bit shit, but normal. But no, the world had decided: 

 

_ You know what Theliel, how about you life just got even messier? _

 

Thanks life. 

 

He really went back on what had happened. That’s when everything came back to him. Everything that had gone down today. He had found his dad, or mom. He wasn’t sure.

 

How could Castiel have, y’know, given birth to him? Cas was a dude. Maybe the angel was lying.

 

Also, angels. What the heck?! Angel and demons. This has been hell of a day, pun intended. And he’s what- a Nephilim? He always thought he was human. Well, he also thought that monsters weren’t real, so, that should give you a little bit of perspective. He’s also the only Nephilim in existence. That is both terrifying and friggin’ awesome. 

 

But who was his other parent. Wait- hadn’t Gavreel said something about Sam being an uncle?

 

That’s when realization hit him.

 

No way. Holy fuck.

 

Could Dean actually be his dad? Well, unless Sam had another sibling with as much chemistry between them as Dean and Cas did.

 

Oh, come on, he might be like, fourteen but he’s not stupid. He’s known them for a day, and he knows how gay they are for each other. He scrunched up his nose. He is thinking about how gay his dads are for each other.

 

_ Jesus. This is a new low dude, even for you _ ,  he tells himself. But he's not wrong.

 

He’d known there was something going on between them as soon as they'd spoken to each other.

 

Their body language had changed completely when they were around each other. Dean always looked really threatening and stuff, but when Castiel was talking to him he suddenly got so soft and caring. He could tell that Dean was the kind of person who acted like a hard headed soldier, but really was a kind-hearted wombat.

 

Boom. He had finally mastered the art of body language-reading.

 

Anyway. They stare at each other way too much to be just friends. Dean looks at Cas like he just wants to devour him on the spot. And Cas, Cas looks at Dean with more love than Thel had ever seen. But they usually do it when the other isn’t looking.

 

His thoughts about his newfound family were interrupted as the cell door was flung open.

 

Thel looked up to see a short man in a black suit. He had dark brown hair that was slightly balding at the top and had a scruff of a beard.

 

The man smiled, not really smiling more like smirking at him.

 

“Well, hello there,” He greeted, he paused, waiting for an answer from Thel. Nothing came.

 

“Crowley, King of Hell, nice to meet you.” Crowley said in a teasing voice.

 

Thel looked the so called ‘King of Hell’ up and down, “Really? I expected something a bit more-“ he waved his hands in uncertainty, “I dunno, more?”

 

Crowley chuckled, “Hm, sassy, just like your daddy.”

 

Thel raised his hand in a stop motion, “Please do not use the word daddy around me. It makes me highly uncomfortable.” Thel stated, scrunching up his face.

 

Crowley looked at the boy curiously, before he smiled.

 

“So, do you know what you are?” he asked, his British accent thick.

 

Thel leaned back, placing his palms flat on the bed, “No, please enlighten me.” He answered sarcastically.

 

Crowley gave him a slight bitchface before he spoke, “You,  _ Theliel _ , are a Nephilim. You are the most powerful creature on this planet.” 

 

“Okay first of all, how dare you call me a creature, second of all, what about God? Am I more powerful than him? And last, doesn’t that mean I could just knock you off the face of the earth? If I’m the most powerful whatever in the world?” he asked tilting his head. He looked a lot like a specific angel Crowley knew.

 

Crowley smiled a false smile, but didn’t answer any of the questions. He could see Castiel in the boy, but also someone else. There had to be someone else.

 

Crowley licked his lips, “So you’re feathers Jr., huh?” He asked, obviously thinking out loud.

 

Thel glared at him in response. The Demon huffed out a breathy laugh. 

 

“But who knocked up the little angel? And how? That’s what I’m going to find out.” Crowley finished as he turned away from Thel and walked out of the cell, leaving Thel alone with his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna split this chapter in two and post them separately but y'know. I just felt like posting a longer chapter today.
> 
> Also, I absolutely LOVE writing Thel in this story. He thinks a lot like me. I think he's supposed to be borderline ADHD or ADD, which is what I am. It makes him a fun character I think- I hope so anyway.


	7. Looking Back On The Past

  
  


Castiel didn’t sleep. He just laid there on the hard and uncomfortable motel bed. Dean hadn’t had the reaction Castiel thought he would have. He expected Dean to yell at him, scream at him and scold him over how much of an idiot he was for keeping such a big secret from him- well, even more so than he knew.

 

He had been so relieved when he realized that he didn’t know it was his child. But what must Dean think of him, Castiel being unloyal to him. Impregnating another woman. Dean might not belong to him but he had always felt like he was Dean's. 

 

Castiel had willingly engaged in sexual intercourse once with another person than Dean, but that was because he had been weak, he’d felt unwanted; useless. He wanted to feel useful again. He would never do the again though- maybe because the morning after she tried to kill him. Well she did kill him, but then Ezekiel- no Gadreel had revived him. Memories from when he was human came flooding back to him. He shivered at the memories of cold nights, sleeping on park benches, scrounging around for food. He would do anything to forget them, but he knew that they made him stronger.

  
  
  


But all of this; the angels finding Thel, Sam and Dean meeting him, then them finding out that Thel was his son, was so  _ draining _ . It made Castiel long for the time before Theliel was born. Before he had the constant memory of leaving Theliel on that doorstep and never telling anyone about him. He wanted to tell the world about his beautiful baby boy.

 

Thel was his weakness; along with Dean of course. The memory of his son was an open wound that never fully healed. A wound that all of this- kept pressing down on. He and Dean made Castiel soft, human. He wished he could tell Dean, finally get this everlasting weight off his chest. But he couldn’t, Dean would’ve hated him if he let their son grow up in ‘the life’ as he puts it. He didn't mean to. _Never_ , he couldn't do that to this bright young soul, he just couldn’t. So, he had given him away to where he thought he would be safe. But he was wrong. Thel’s family got killed and he was left to fend for himself. Castiel had failed.

 

Sometimes Castiel had wondered about what their lives would be like if he hadn’t given Theliel away. He knows that the war in heaven would have gone differently, because he had an infant to raise, but what would his relationship with Dean be like? If he’d kept their child. He knew Dean would be a wonderful father, he was amazing with children. Castiel knew Dean would most likely accept Theliel as his own, but what would he think of Castiel? He might have been the mother of his child, but Castiel still had no romantic relationship with him- the one that was there, unrequited.

 

Often when Castiel felt all hope was lost and he had nothing left to fight or live for, he thought about Dean. Dean, the righteous man. The man who had save the world on so many occasions, and never got what he deserved in return. And he thought about Thel. The little life that he and Dean had created. Their little family. He knew that if there was something he should keep fighting for it should be them. That’s what helped him get out of his dumpster in the morning, off the wet park bench. And that’s what kept him fighting against Raphael. Some days he just wanted to give up, he had been pregnant, which had drained his grace, making him hungry and tired. But he had to protect the Winchesters; all of them.

 

He smiled at the fond memory of holding Thel for the first time in his arms. The small fingers and toes wiggling, still trying to get used to being outside the womb. The boy's beautiful eyelashes that curled up towards his forehead. And of course the same perfect lips as his father. He felt tears prickle his eyes. He had been so happy. 

 

That’s how the entire evening went. Him reliving the moments that brought him here. The good and the bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hecking short chapter, but I think I'll post another chapter soon just to make up for it- Hope you enjoyed the feels!!


	8. You Were Happy,

The brothers and Gavreel worked all night trying to pinpoint the location that the demons that took Thel were at. Castiel didn’t come out of his room the entire evening. After many hours of research, hacking, frustration and beer, they finally found where they must be keeping Thel. Dean had stormed out of the motel room every time they stumbled upon a dead end. Sam figured he blamed himself for Thel’s disappearance. He always does. They had found out that apparently the demons were hiding out in an abandoned hospital, just outside of town.

 

_ Ugh, it’s always an abandoned something _ !?, Dean thought to himself. 

 

They decided that they should go find Thel soon as possible, so they’d go in the morning, get some sleep first. They did that, despite Dean’s protests.  

 

“Um, Dean?” Sam asked his brother, who was cleaning up some of the beer bottles littered across the room. 

 

“Mhm?” Was all he answered.

 

“Y’know, we should probably tell Cas that his kid got snatched?” Sam suggested giving Dean a sorrowful look. 

 

Dean froze and straightened up. He pursed his lip, he was afraid Sam was going to say that. But he nodded anyway. “We’ll tell him tomorrow, no need to get him all worked up. We don’t want him to do anything stupid,” Dean decided, as he walked over to the sink and put down the bottles. He strolled over to his bag, pulled out a T-shirt and started to undress. The two prepared for bed in silence, worrying about the same thing; Cas’ reaction to the news.

 

Dean had never seen Cas this way before, he was so emotional. Angels aren’t supposed to be this emotional, right? Also, Castiel was like a mother hen with Thel. The way he acted around him, Thel had tripped over something and Cas was there to catch him in seconds. And the way his face melts into a soft smile whenever he starts talking. Dean could see how much Castiel cared for Theliel. Dean couldn’t fall asleep, he just laid there. As soon as he saw the demon take Thel, he felt a pit settle in his stomach. He felt like Thel was his responsibility, and if he’d a tiny bit faster they wouldn’t be in this situation. He’s gonna have to be the one to tell Cas. Of course, it’ll have to be him, Sam won’t do it. Dean won’t let Gavreel do it. So, it has to be him.

  
  


~~~

 

Dean woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee and the sound of the shower going. He sat up in the small sofa that he’d slept on, because Cas slept in the bed that Sam was going to sleep in and he didn’t have the heart to disturb the angel. So, Sam slept in his bed, and he slept on the sofa.  

 

He felt his sore muscles protest as he stood up and walked over to the small kitchenette where Castiel stood, his back facing Dean. Dean walked up to the angel and placed a hand on his shoulder, which made Castiel jump. He spilled the cup of coffee he had in his hands all over the counter top.

 

Dean quickly helped Castiel to clean up the mess, “Oh shit, sorry dude, I didn’t mean to scare ya’,” he said lightheartedly.

 

“It’s alright Dean. It was an accident.” Castiel looked at Dean as he held out the coffee cup, it still had a little bit of coffee in it, “It was for you as an apology for my outburst yesterday, but- I can make you another one?” Castiel smiled sadly.

 

Dean smiled back before he took the cup from Cas’ hands, “Cas, you don’t have to apologize, but I appreciate the gesture.” 

 

They stood there for a while, unmoving, staring into each other’s eyes. Dean felt his eyes snap down to Cas' lips before returning to his eyes.

 

The two didn’t hear it when the shower stopped, and the bathroom door opened. Sam stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist. Sam noticed the two in the kitchen. He smiled at the sight. They do that quite a lot, but now he knows more than he did before. Even though he does not want to imagine his brother having sex with the angel, it’s not that hard to believe that they got together. Sam quickly shoved his thoughts away, “Hey so guys?” He broke their trance and they looked at him, “So, I was thinking we should leave in maybe like forty minutes? How’s that sound?” Sam asked the pair.

 

Castiel furrowed his brow, “Where are we going?” He asked as he turned to face Dean. Sam’s eyes widened as he realized that Dean hadn’t told Castiel yet. He quickly grabbed some clothes and rushed into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

 

Dean looked into the angel’s eyes. He couldn’t lie to him, but he couldn’t tell him the truth either. So, he told him something in-between. “We’re gonna gank some demons that are hiding outside of town in an abandoned hospital.” He told Cas. It wasn’t exactly lying, it’s just not the whole truth.

 

Castiel nodded, “Right, I’ll go with you.” The angel declared, straight faced. 

 

Dean clapped him on the shoulder, “Can’t argue with that,” He said nervously. He took a sip of the coffee that was now getting a bit cold, but he could care less. It was just how he made his own coffee and the gesture warmed his heart enough. He sat down at the table and went over the notes from last night. They didn’t know what demons would want with Thel, but they knew Crowley was behind it so, it can’t be good.

 

“God, I hope he’s okay,” Dean mumbled under his breath, so Castiel couldn’t hear. 

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  
  


They’d all gotten dressed and were getting ready to leave when Castiel looked around at them, panicked, “Um, where’s Theliel?” He asked cautiously. He'd thought he'd just gone out, but his son still hadn't returned.

 

Sam looked over at Dean with a look of ‘ _ God, I hate you so much right now.’ _

 

“Um, Cas?” Sam started, “Last night while you were um, resting,” He said awkwardly looking over at Dean and Gavreel for help, “He went outside after y’know, and-“ Sam stopped, scared of continuing.

 

“Demons took him,” Gavreel said bluntly. Castiel looked over at the other angel and his face hardened. He started to walk over to the door when Dean grabbed his shoulder.

 

Castiel looked at his hand, “What are you doing,” Castiel asked in a monotone voice. Dean looked him in the eyes, he could see past the façade. Castiel was panicking, his eye was twitching slightly, and his hands were shaking.

 

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” Dean started as he pulled him into a hug, “That why we’re hunting the sons a’ bitches.” Dean could feel Castiel’s entire body shaking now. He was breathing heavily.

 

They stood there, Castiel in Dean’s arms coming down from his panic attack; Dean rubbing circles into his back, like he’d done the night before to calm him down. He knew that this would literally be his biggest nightmare and he also knew that he'd never actually taught him to deal with this kinda crap. He should do that when they get Theliel back.  

 

Sam and Gavreel had retreated outside quickly after Dean had pulled Castiel into a hug.

 

A few minutes later Dean and Castiel came out of the motel room, Cas looked less panicked and Dean looked relieved. They all got into the Impala; Sam and Dean in the front, and Castiel and Gavreel in the back. They drove in silence but when they were about half-way there Gavreel cleared his throat, “Um, aren’t we going to speak of the fact that Dean is the father of the Nephilim?”

 

Sam turned in his seat and looked at the angel in shock over the fact that he just blurted it out, “Dude!?” he whispered harshly at the angel who shrugged in response, “What? You two weren’t going to say anything. The man deserves to know.” Gavreel looked at Castiel accusingly.  

 

“What the Hell are you talking about? Cas is Thel’s dad. He said it himself. Right Cas?” Dean asked, looking in the rear-view mirror. Castiel sat in the backseat with a look of controlled horror on his face.

 

“Right Cas?” Dean asked again, slower, in confirmation.

 

Castiel didn’t know what to do, he was frozen in fear. He thought he had dodged that part so well. But now Dean was closer to the that ever, and there was nothing Castiel could do to stop it. He just sat there, eyes wide and throat dry. Dean furrowed his brow at the angel in the back seat.

 

Castiel tried to say something but nothing came out, it was like the words got caught in his throat. Dean pulled over and stepped out of the car, “Castiel! Get your feathery ass, out here, right now!” He demanded harshly. Castiel complied, stepping out of the car and sheepishly walking up to Dean.

 

“What the hell is he talking about!?” Dean questioned the angel.

 

Castiel looked at his shoes and sighed. If he was ever going to tell him, now was as good a time as any. Crowley had most likely found out and Castiel did not want the demon to be the one who broke the news.

 

Castiel took a deep breath and looked up at Dean with pleading eyes, “Dean I can explain-“ He started but was cut off by a scoff.

 

“Yeah, you better. What the hell is going on!” Castiel winced at the hunter’s words. He wasn’t sensitive, but this was a touchy subject. It always had been. Lucifer knew that and used it against him, broke him. But Dean wasn't Lucifer, Dean would never hurt him.

 

Castiel closed his eyes and took a few seconds to compose himself; he couldn't go into this when he's on the verge of crying.

 

“You’re his father,” He stated, getting an odd look from Dean.

 

“What? But I thought you were his dad? He’s your kid?!” Dean asked helplessly. 

 

Castiel nodded, “He is my child, but yours too.” He smiled weakly at the hunter. He knew it, this was the moment where Dean would explode. He would yell at him- what, Castiel wasn't sure of. He knows Dean doesn't want him, he's not going to want a child that  _Castiel_   _bore_. A child that a  _man_ and  _angel_ gave birth to.

 

“How- how is that, how is that possible- that’s not actually possible Cas, y-you know that, right?” Dean stammered with a desperate look on his face.

 

“Do you remember during the apocalypse, we would engage in sexual intercourse for your relief?” Dean blushed at the comment but nodded, hoping his brother wasn’t listening. Dean would try and tell him that people don't say  _intercourse_ , but he doubted that it really mattered right now.

 

“But then we stopped having intercourse after the battle at the cemetery and you went to Lisa and Ben.” Castiel asked Dean, who was turning redder with every second. Dean raised an eyebrow, but kept nodding.

 

“I discovered not long after that I was with child.” Castiel stated, he seemed almost ashamed, scared even. Castiel placed a hand on his abdomen as he had done fourteen years ago, and then smiled sadly.

 

Dean’s mouth fell open, “You’re fucking with me. It can’t- How the hell does that even work!? Cause’ if you haven’t noticed, but you’re a dude?! You don't have  _ lady parts _ . I  _ know _ that for  _ sure _ ,” Dean practically shouted in panic. This could not be happening. It didn't even make any sense.

 

“When Raphael blew me and my vessel up, Jimmy died, and this vessel became a part of me. I don’t know why or how, but my grace made it possible for me to carry children.” Dean could see the tears in Castiel’s eyes. "It's never happened before, but-" He stopped.

 

“Theliel is your child too,” Castiel choked out. The sadness in his voice made Dean want to cry, he’d never see Castiel in this state.

 

“But- but Cas,” Dean’s voice cracked. “Cas, why didn’t you tell me? All these years you’ve kept it- him, from me? W-why? Why the fuck did you keep this from me! what the _Fuck_ , Cas!?” Dean begged for an answer. He felt raw, this was too much to handle, but he needed to understand.

 

Tears ran down Castiel’s face as he explained, “When I first conceived him I thought about coming to you, telling you. I almost did.” he paused, reminiscing about seeing Dean happily living his life with the mother of his  _ other _ child. 

 

“But then I saw you with Ben and Lisa, and I-I. You were out, at peace.  _ Happy _ . I watched you rake leaves in your garden and I realized that I had no right to take that from you. So I left.” He smiled at Dean, he took shaky breaths. 

 

“Then came the war in heaven, and I-I was all alone and, and-“ Castiel was crying but kept speaking. He desperately tried to wiped his tears away with the palm of his hand.

 

“When he was born I wanted nothing more than to keep him, raise him, love him, show him to everyone. My son.  _ Our _ son.” Castiel had a daydream look in his eyes, which faltered quickly as he continued, “But I knew if I didn’t hide him quickly,  _ everything _ would be after him, either to harness his power or destroy him. Every angel, demon, every monster smart enough to know about him, would come after him. We’d be running all his life, and I- I couldn’t let that happen. So, I hid him. Gave him to a family that wanted a child so badly.” Castiel chuckled softly through his tears. "Somewhere i thought he would be safe,"

 

Dean stared at the angel, his angel. The one he had loved for such a long time. This was so much information. He didn’t know what to do with half of it.

 

He had a son, he and Castiel had a kid. Together. A child that he never knew that existed. This seems to be a bit of a recurring theme for Dean. 

 

He walked up to the weeping angel, mouth still hanging open. When he got to Castiel and placed his hand on his bicep, the angel winced, “Please- please don’t hate me, please, I'm sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Castiel pleaded, averting his gaze.

 

Dean didn’t know how to react to that, so he just wrapped his arms around him. He felt a pang of hurt when the angel assumed that he would hate him if he knew. This was probably why he freaked out yesterday. He thought Dean knew, and he would hate him. Dean kissed the top of Castiel’s head. Castiel looked up at Dean through wet eyelashes, “You don’t hate me? How- I failed you, Dean. I failed to keep our baby safe.” He sobbed into Dean's neck.

 

Dean pulled away and looked at his angel with sorrowful eyes, “No, God. Of course not. None of this is your fault. And fuck,  _ Cas _ , I could never hate you.” He took a deep breath, it wasn't easy for him to say this but, 

 

“I love you,” Dean said, just above a whisper. 

 

Castiel’s eyes lit up when he heard those words. He stared at him in shock before smiling broader than Dean had ever seen him smile. His gums were showing and he had adorable crinkles around his eyes. Dean smiled back at him, he smiled a real smile, a smile that reached his ears. Not the fake ones he had gotten so used to giving.

 

Castiel reached his hand up and cupped Dean’s jaw. He still had tears in his eyes as they leaned in closer, their foreheads touching. There were mere millimeters in between them. Castiel would feel Dean’s breath on his own lips. "I love you more than anything in the universe." the angel whispered. 

 

Dean was the one who closed the gap between them. He poured everything into that kiss, all his feelings, every emotion, everything he’d ever felt for the angel; sorrow, pain, happiness, anger, bliss, passion and most importantly, Love.

 

The kiss lasted for what felt like hours. It wasn't heated, it wasn't a battle of tongues- it was just Dean's lips moving against Castiel's. When they broke apart they stood still, in complete silence, just staring into each other’s eyes. The last thing Dean said before they drove off was,

 

“Let’s go get our son.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much emotions- it's finally out. Dean knows. But he reacted pretty well. I was going to write it so he freaks out and full on ignores Cas to make it a bit angsty but I think I will be nice to both you and them for now ;)
> 
> (I was gonna post this sooner but there was a trampoline in the room so what can I say...)


	9. Back together?

Dean stopped the Impala on the hill close to the hospital, just so they could hide Baby and go over the plan one more time. He was having painful flashbacks to when Castiel was Emmanuel, and he and Meg had to help him remember, so Cas could help Sam.

 

They all stood around the hood of the Impala as they told Castiel the plan. The plan was that they’d sneak in; they found blueprints of the hospital online and discovered that there was a tunnel leading from the lake next to the hospital into the kitchen. That’s how they were going to get in.  Sam and Gavreel were going to go see if they could find Crowley; they wanted- no,  _ needed _ to find out what he wanted with to do with Thel. While they did that Dean and Castiel were going to go find Thel. Now that Castiel had met him, he could sense his grace from close range. That’s how they’d figure out where Crowley and his demons were keeping him.

 

The brothers prepared their guns and Dean gave Sam the demon knife; he had Cas and his own angel blade.

 

When they were ready they hid Baby, and made their way over to the lake. When they got closer they spotted the giant sewerage pipe coming out of the bottom of the hospital.

 

“That’s it,” Sam told them, gripping the demon knife in case there were any demons by the pipe. 

 

Luckily there were none, and they could go straight in. But before they went in Dean pulled Castiel to the side, “Cas? The amulet.” He started which got Cas’ attention but he looked askance. “Did you give it to him, is it my amulet?” Dean looked at him hopefully.

 

Castiel nodded, “Yes, yes I did.” He smiled, “I thought he should have something of his father’s.” 

 

Castiel looked at Dean with  _ that look _ , like the one he normally did, except now Dean knew what that look was; it was a look of complete adoration. Dean pulled Castiel in for a passionate kiss before hugging him and murmuring into his ear, “Don’t worry, we’ll get him back.”

  
  
  


They walked through the wet and smelly sewer system, Dean in front, protecting everybody, and Gavreel in the back; making sure no one was following them. It was about noon, so the natural light shone from the opening of the pipe, giving them a little bit of light. But as they ventured deeper into the pipe it got darker and they had to turn on the flashlights that they’d brought with them.

 

At the end of the pipe, there was a small stairwell leading up to the kitchen on their right. The four men made their way up the spiral staircase and into the kitchen.     

 

“God, I feel violated and disgusting on so many levels,” Dean complained as he reached the top of the stairs. He could only imagine the amount of germs that had collected in this tunnel.

 

“Well, we did just walk through a ginormous, 60 year old sewer pipe,” Sam sassed, giving his brother a bitchface.

 

“Quiet, you two,” Gavreel snapped, as he made his way up the stairs. He looked at Castiel who asked, “Was there anyone behind us?” Castiel looked at the other angel seriously. Gavreel simply shook his head.

 

Castiel turned to the kitchen. It was a decently sized room, full of metal kitchen counter, ovens and sinks. As they walked towards the doors to the hallway, they passed one of the sinks. Castiel made the poor decision of looking at something he thought he saw in the sink. Castiel realized his mistake as there was a bucket full of what looked like severed finger and toes. He quickly scooted away from the sink. He wondered who those used to belong to.

 

They all gathered around the doors on the other side of the room. Dean looked at the rest of them, bringing his finger up to his lips- gesturing for them to be quiet. He slowly pushed the door open and looked both ways before nodding. The hall was empty. This was where they had to split up. They were pretty sure that Crowley, being the posh bastard that he is, would probably be staying in the offices over on the other side of the hospital. So, Sam and Gavreel quietly snuck down the corridor to there right, over the west side of the building. Leaving Castiel and Dean to locate their son.

 

Dean walked up to Castiel, placing his hands on his shoulders, “Okay baby, do your thing.” He encouraged. The endearment seemed to come easy, it surprised even Dean. He wasn’t one for using pet names seriously. 

 

Castiel closed his eyes, focusing on finding the grace that he had felt when near Theliel. Castiel searched the entire building before he spotted it. Thel was being kept in some sort of storage room, that had been refurbished into a makeshift holding cell.

 

He opened his eyes and hummed, “I found him.” He stated simply. 

 

Dean nodded in response, “Lead the way,” 

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


Thel had sat on the bed for what felt like days, (But to be honest, it was probably just hours) and he was pretty sure they had forgotten about him.

 

He had been thinking, if Cas- his mother, cared about him so much, why would he give him away? Didn’t he want him? And Dean, he didn’t even look like he knew that Thel was his son, so would Dean want to keep him as his son or would he just leave him and go save the world, or something…

 

Thel grasped the amulet around his neck. This was Dean’s amulet, Castiel had gotten it and then given it to Thel. He smiled. Maybe Castiel does care. Dean had told his that he’d had this amulet for a long time, it must be worth something to him. Castiel had to have known that when he gave it to him.

 

He looked up as he heard footsteps approach his cell. _Maybe they’ll walk past?_ Thel thinks to himself. He heard keys rattle, before the lock, well, unlocks.  _No such luck then_ , Thel thought.

 

The door swung open and the king of Hell walked in. Thel tried to see what was outside of his cell, but there were two absolutely giant dudes out there, blocking his view. They looked like they’d overdosed on steroids, twice, and then stuffed their muscles with... something, something you would fill your muscles with.

 

What would a person fill their muscles with? Why would a person fill their muscles with something in the first place? Obviously to make them bigger, but that's what the double overdose of steroid was for. 

 

Thel pondered on this, not paying any attention to Crowley who stood impatiently in front of him.

 

Thel soon realized his train of thought was useless in this situation and he was spacing out, he looked up at the demon that stood in front of him, “Oh! So, they remembered me! That’s a relief,” He furrowed his brow and looked away, thinking, “No, no that’s not a relief, actually. Not at all.”

 

Crowley smirked at the boy. He snapped his fingers and a paper bag appeared in his raised fist. He dangled it in front of Thel.

 

“I figured you’d be hungry by now, so I got you something that I thought you’d like. Your mummy does anyway.” He tossed the bag to Thel, who caught it. Thel opened the bag and looked inside. The aroma of burgers and fries overwhelmed over him. His mouth started to water, now that he thought about it, he hadn’t eaten anything in a while and he was getting pretty hungry. 

 

“Why should I trust you not to have poisoned this?” Theliel asked skeptically. 

 

Crowley rolled his eye, “I’m not trying to poison you, I need you.” He spat. Thel raised an eyebrow at the oddly worded statement.

 

Crowley gave him an unimpressed look, “Not like that. I mean I need you to ‘strike fear into my enemies’.” He corrected.

 

“Like Batman?” Thel asked him, smirking. Crowley recognized that smirk from somewhere- and it wasn't from Castiel. 

 

Crowley sighed, “I don’t have time for this,” He turned around to leave, “I need to prepare for when your daddy gets here.” He turned back around when he heard Thel groan. 

 

“What?” Crowley asked the teenager tiredly. 

 

“What did I say about using the word ‘Daddy’?” Thel asked the demon. Crowley shook his head and walked out the door, locking it behind him.

  
  


~~~

  
  


Castiel and Dean snuck through the building towards the makeshift cell that Thel was being kept in. As they came around the corner close to Thel’s cell, they heard quiet muttering. Dean peaked around the corner and saw two big burly men standing outside of the metal door, facing each other and talking.

 

“What is it?” Castiel asked Dean. 

 

“Two big guys outside of the cell, Demons.” He answered, turning to face Castiel. The two snuck up to the demon that was closer, and Dean stabbed it in the back of its throat.

 

As the demon fell to the floor the other one noticed the two of them and shouted, “It’s the Winchester and his angel! They’re here-“ 

 

Dean shot up and stabbed them in the chest before they was able to shout more proof of their presence.

 

The two swung around as they heard a bang on the door, “Hey uhm,  _ parents _ . If you could please let me out of this stinky cell. Yeah... That would be highly appreciated.” They heard Thel’s voice coming from inside the cell.

 

Castiel hurried over to the door and unlocked it, swinging the door open. Thel came running out, looking around to see if there was anyone else there. His inspection was cut short as he was pulled into a warm embrace.   

 

  “Thel, I was so worried.” Castiel’s gravelly voice echoed through the hall. Castiel let go and smiled down at Thel as he had done thirteen years ago. The angel looked at his son’s amulet before grabbing it, holding it tight in his fist. He focused his energy into the amulet making it glow blue as it was filled with his grace, “So I don’t ever lose you again.” he told him, without explaining further. 

 

The moment was interrupted as they heard running from down the hall.

 

They saw at least fourteen demons running at them full speed, ready to attack.

 

“Oh shit- RUN!” Thel exclaimed. The three of them ran as fast as they could down the hall, towards the kitchen. The demons were gaining on them when Castiel stopped and called, “Dean, take Thel and go, I’ll hold them off for as long as I can. Just, get. Out.” Dean stopped and looked at his lover face the horde of demons.

 

“Cas no-“ Dean tried but was cut off.

 

“Dean please,” Castiel said looking at him with pleading eyes. 

 

Thel grabbed at Dean’s jacket and hauled him out into the kitchen. As they stepped into the kitchen they heard Castiel scream out in pain. Dean shot up at the piercing sound. He would have run out after him if Sam hadn’t shown up in the doorway and stopped him.

 

Dean kicked and yelled at Sam to let him go, to let him help him, but as much as Sam wanted to go help him friend, they couldn’t; they’d just get themselves killed. And they needed to protect Theliel. Sam dragged Dean out through the pipe, up the hill and into the Impala; Thel and Gavreel trailing behind them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cliffhanger? In this fic? It's more likely than you think.
> 
> I actually love writing Theliel's character, it's kinda freeing in a way- I can write whatever random shit pops up into head and it works because he's an actual crackhead XD.
> 
> These next few chapters are going to get a bit (kinda very) dark, so just a warning for sensitive content.


	10. Discoveries and appeasement

When Castiel regained consciousness, he felt cold. He was laying on his side on a very hard and uncomfortable surface. He wasn’t quite conscious enough to know what surface though. When he remembered what had happened, he quickly looked down at his abdomen, where the demon had stabbed him. The wound had healed completely. He gave a sigh of relief. 

When realized he was lying on the ground, he placed his palms flat on the cold floor and pushed himself up. As he did that he heard chains rattle. He blinked a few times to adjust to the darkness around him. He lifted his hands to see that they were chained. He studied the chains, to try and understand how they could possibly hold him. He might not be the all-powerful angel he used to be, but he was still an angel. He tried pulling on them, but the only thing that happened was that the Enochian writing on them glowed. 

Castiel groaned. Of course, Crowley would have Enochian cuffs. 

At least he was still alive, they could’ve killed him. Actually, why didn’t they kill him? He can’t do anything for them? Shouldn't they just get rid of him- get him out of the way? He was one of the things keeping them from getting Theliel? 

 

~~~

 

Castiel had checked every inch of the cell he was being kept in, and there was nothing. He guessed that he was being kept in a holding cell in hell; it smelled like it anyway.

He sat down on a concrete ledge, it was probably meant to be some kind of bench- if not a bed. It really didn’t feel like it though. His head shot up when he heard footsteps approach. Soon enough Crowley emerged, an ugly smirk on his face.

“Well hello, welcome back to Hell. How have you been?” The demon asked conversationally.

Castiel didn't answer, only glaring in response. Crowley sighed, “Well, at least your son was a bit more talkative.” He commented.

Castiel growled at the mention of Thel. 

The demon raised his hands in surrender, “Whoa there, I’m just here to talk.” He said.

Castiel raised an eyebrow, “You kidnap my son, almost kill me in an attempt to capture me and then you just want to talk?” He questioned.

“Well, Feathers. I just need you to tell me how you were able to carry the nephilim, and then we’ll be good,” Crowley said smiling.

The angel glared at him, “Now why would I do that?” Castiel challenged. He folded his arms and leaned back against the cold, hard wall. 

“Well, it would make things much easier for us, and much less painful for you.” Crowley stated simply. 

Castiel huffed, “Is that a threat?” 

The demon smirked, “It can be whatever you want, sweetheart.” He stepped closer to the cell, “Now tell me, who fucked you good enough that they got you pregnant?” 

He got nothing but a glower from Castiel, who said nothing.

“Hmm, protective are we? I have a few ideas who the father might be. It must be someone close to you, you wouldn't have let just anyone have their way with you back then.” Crowley thought for a minute. Realization dawned on him. “Oh my God. It’s squirrel isn’t it? That flannel wearing bastard put a baby in you! How did I not realize this sooner?” He marveled. 

Panic flickered behind Castiel’s eyes before he steeled himself. “That is none of your business, Crowley.”

The king of Hell laughed, “But Angel, of course it’s my business. I need to find out how you can make more of them for me!” Crowley told him. 

Castiel felt his stomach drop and his eyes widened in horror. “No, no you can’t. I don’t even know how it happened!” He said, fear laced in his voice.

Crowley chuckled, “That’s what the experiments are for! You don’t have to know, we’ll find out along the way.” 

And with that the demon left, leaving Castiel in shock over what he’s been told. 

Crowley was going to use him to make more Nephilim. Was that even possible? Was the womb in his body still there? In tact? Maybe his Grace got rid of it as soon as it didn’t look like Castiel was having any children. Well, even the first time around he wasn’t. But his body and Grace had thought so. 

What kind of experiments was Crowley going to perform on him? Whatever it was it was probably going to be painful- only a handful of things related to childbearing weren’t. 

Castiel’s stomach churned with anxiety as he tried to lie down. The concrete slab he was sitting on wasn’t very comfortable and laying on it wasn’t very enjoyable. 

He prayed that Dean knew where he was, because it didn’t look like he himself was gonna make it out by his lonesome anytime soon. 

 

~~~

 

Dean fumed as he burst into the motel room. He threw his bag on the bed and started ripping out the guns inside. He started taking them apart, counting the ammo for each one. 

Thel and Sam tiptoed in behind him, Gavreel decided he’d rather stay on guard than get mixed up in all the ‘Family Drama’ as he’d put it.

The other two Winchesters sat down at the table, away from Dean and his small temper tantrum. 

“What’s he doing?” Thel whispered to his uncle. Sam sighed, a sad expression on his face.

“He’s cleaning out his guns. It helps him relax and let’s him think. It’s better this that what he used to to…” Sam trailed off.

“What did he do before?” Thel questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Sam thought about if he should really tell Thel about how bad at feelings his brother was. “Well, he would get angry, very angry. He’d shove things off tables and curse. He had a major drinking problem, but that’s passed.” Sam paused, “Oh, uhm, sorry, I shouldn't have said that- didn't want to scare you or anything,” he said sheepishly.

“No, it's okay. It's good to know.” 

Thel was surprised. He spared a glance over to where Dean was furiously taking apart his semi-automatic pistol. It’s kind of weird thinking about Dean having any sort of weakness or addiction. His dad once had a drinking problem. Now that’s something he never thought he’d say- or think.

The 14 year-old stood up from his chair and stepped over to where Dean sat. 

“Hey, uhm, Dean?” he said quietly, the hunter gave no response. Thel thought for a minute.

“Uh, dad?” 

Dean's head shot up and looked at Thel. His son's big blue eyes stared at him. He looked identical to Castiel in that moment. His heart fluttered.

“Thel, I'm sorry. I-I am just, I'm just worried. I don't know what they're going to do to him. I didn't mean to take it out on you.” Dean ran his hand down his face before putting his gun to the side and reached out his arms in invitation. Theliel sat down next to Dean and the hunter wrapped his arms around him. Theliel nuzzled his head into Dean's neck.

Dean couldn't believe it, it felt unreal; he was hugging his son. His biological child, who he'd created with Castiel. He still didn't really understand how that had happened, but he wouldn't change it for the world. Everything had happened so fast that day that he hadn't even taken the time to realise what he'd discovered. Only now was everything sinking in.

He got Cas pregnant. Thirteen years ago. Castiel had been pregnant with his baby while fighting in the civil war in heaven. How did the angels not notice? It doesn't matter now. 

Only one question went unanswered; when was Thel conceived? Cas must know. He needs to remember to ask his angel when they get him back.

 

~~~

 

Sam gaped at where Dean and Thel sat on the bed; the teen wrapped in his father's arms. 

Sam realized that this was good for his brother. Dean needed something good to happen in his life- after God and Amara left, nothing happened. Yeah, there were a few hunts here and there, but nothing really. 

He could see that Dean had started getting quite down recently; depressed even. It was hard to keep your spirits up when you lived in an underground bunker with nothing to do. Dean would wander around The Bunker aimlessly and not come out of his room for days. 

Sam hoped that after they'd figured this out, Dean could continue rebuilding this -slightly dysfunctional but still happy- family. Castiel had always been good for him, and so will Theliel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit messy, but whatever. Sorry I didn't update for a little while. I've been having massive writers block and also been very busy with school.   
> Thanks for reading, I love you all!!!


	11. Violation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR RAPE/NON-CON ELEMENTS.  
> Do not read if it makes you uncomfortable.

Castiel was awoken when he heard his cell being opened. He sat up, still half asleep and saw as two men- who he assumed must've been demons- approached him. 

Castiel didn't fight back when they pulled him out of the cell by his chains. He was dragged down corridor after corridor until they stepped into a small room. It looked like some kind of surgical operation room. 

Castiel had no time to look around before he felt something being inserted into his neck. He grunted as it pierced his skin and settled up against his spinal cord. He felt his eyes grow heavy and soon enough he lost consciousness.

 

~~~

 

When the angel came to he was laying on a table, which was sloped only slightly downwards, his head closer to the ground than his feet. He had been strapped in with the same kind of chains as he had worn earlier. He had also been stripped of all his clothing, leaving him bare and vulnerable. He could feel whatever had been inserted into his neck pulse and numb his powers even more.

Castiel couldn't feel his Grace and he had to admit he was getting a bit frightened. These were the experiments Crowley was going to perform on him. What could they be; so far they didn’t seem like they were going to be pleasant.

Before Castiel had time to feel anxious about his susceptible position he heard a door open and close; someone had just entered the room. He couldn’t see who it was. Castiel stayed completely silent as the footsteps approached. 

“Hello Angel, are you awake yet?” a soft but eerie voice asked. Castiel didn't answer, rather he closed his eyes and tried to relax. Maybe if they thought he was unconscious, they would come back later.

Castiel gave a yelp as he felt hands start to knead the underside of his thighs. He tried to pull away but the metal rods keeping his legs bent towards his chest and spread made the action come to nothing. 

They shushed him as they kept massaging his thighs, slowly working down towards his ass. 

“It’s okay. Just relax. I'm just do a few tests and then you can rest again.” they promised, their voice awfully deceptive. 

The angel breathed easier as soon as the figure removed it's hands and stepped back. Castiel heard shuffling and then the grate of metal being being moved around. He could see nothing of what was happening, nor what the creature was doing.

Castiel's breath hitched when something cold came into contact with his stomach. He looked down to see some kind of plastic contraption, it's use unknown to him. It looked familiar though, like something found at a human hospital.

“What is that? What are you doing?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. The creature returned between the angel's legs, it's face pulled up into a sneer.

“I'm gonna use this apparatus to look at the womb in your body whilst I work.” It explained, reaching over and switching it on. The machine started to humm and the being made a satisfied noise. 

“Okay. As we can see here, angel boy, is that your womb is still in tact. It looks like it should still be fully functional, but it seems to be cut off from your hole.” they said, deep in thought, as if he was some kind of science experiment. To them, he probably was.

Castiel swallowed audibly. It was still there- how was it still there!? He had died and exploded so many times since he gave birth to Theliel. Why did it grow back every time? His body must've just been ready for Dean. Always ready for Dean. Because who else would it be, if not Dean. The man who he’d devoted everything to. The man-

Castiel was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a cap of a bottle get opened. He heard the squirt of something probably being poured out of the bottle. 

“Now, let's see what's blocking our way to your fuckhole.” the figure stated. Castiel's stomach dropped when he realized what was going to happen next. He squirmed and kicked, trying to get away from them as they went to touch him.

“Please. Don't do this. Please no.” Castiel begged. He whimpered as a hand was placed on his abdomen effectively holding him in place. Castiel bit down on his tongue as he felt cold fingers prod at his hole. 

This couldn't be happening, this could not be happening. Castiel never imagined he'd be violated on this level when he was brought here. He felt like he couldn't breathe, the combination of the pain in his ass and the anxiety of possibly becoming Crowley's Nephilim maker made his fear unbearable. 

He wanted to leave. He wanted Dean to burst through the door, shoot the being that was defiling Castiel and take him back home. He wanted to go back and make sure Thel made it out okay and in one piece. If something would have happened to him, Castiel would never forgive himself. 

But until he either escapes or Dean actually shows up, Castiel was just going to have to stay strong and push through.

 

~~~

 

The three Winchesters and Gavreel sat at a diner booth, having breakfast. It had been two weeks since Castiel had been taken and they were still working on how to get him back. They had stayed at the same motel, Sam just getting another room adjacent to Thel and Dean’s. 

They knew that Crowley must be keeping him in hell. It would be the safest for the demon and would make getting to the angel a lot harder for them. Sam and Gavreel hadn't found much at the hospital; Crowley's office being bare of any useful information. 

Dean felt more and more anxious each day about whether Cas was still okay; he was scared that the demon-fucks were hurting him. Whether or not they were, Dean was still gonna kill every single one of them.

They were going to have to get into hell, but how, they were still trying to figure out. The last few times they had to make some deals with some reapers, but it was going to be hard to find a reaper willing to help them now that everyone knew about Thel. But the making a deal part- Dean would have no problem with that. He’d make a deal with the devil if needed. He was going to get his family back together. He was gonna storm into hell and drag Castiel’s stupid self-sacrificing ass back to The Bunker.

“Where would you usually find a door when you were trying to get into hell?” Thel asked, placing down his knife and fork. He used the back of his hand to wipe the excess syrup off his face.

Sam and Dean looked over at each other, thinking back. Sam’s face pulled together into a frown. 

“Well, when Bobby died- well, after we burned his flask that his ghost was attached to- he was accidentally sent to hell instead. We got a reaper to open us a gate that got us to hell.” Sam explained. He hesitated, looking over at Dean. Dean opened his mouth to speak but Thel beat him to it.

“Omigosh, that’s perfect! we just have to find a reaper that’s gone dark side, get into hell grab dad- mom? Papa? Whatever- not relevant to this conversation. I’ll figure it out later. -And then get the heck outa’ dodge, right?” Thel spoke enthusiastically.

“Well, Thel.” Sam began. “There are two doors that we would have to go through to get to Cas. One from wherever the gate is opened, that leads through to Purgatory where the door to hell is.” 

Thel cringed, “Ah, well. That’s unfortunate.” 

“Yeah, it is. But, as much as I hate to say it. It’s our best shot.” Dean confessed. 

“I don’t think this is a very good idea.” Gavreel suddenly digressed. They all looked over at the angel. “I mean, finding a reaper? And then going through Purgatory? This is all gonna end horribly.” He told them. 

Dean turned to where Gavreel sat next to him. “Well, if you have any other good ideas princess, then please; share them with the rest of the class.” The hunter smiled his best faux smile at him before turning back towards his son and brother. He didn’t like the angel.

“It’s gonna take a lot of preparation, but it might be manageable.” Sam said. The other three nodded- Gavreel reluctantly. 

They paid and left the diner. As Thel and Gavreel crawled into the backseat, Sam pulled Dean to the side. 

“Hey. How are you holding up?” He asked his brother. 

Dean rolled his eyes, “Really Sammy? You’re asking me about how I’m feeling?”

Sam gave him a bitchface and said, “Hey, I mean it. A lot has been going on and I’m just checking on how you’re dealin’.” 

Dean glared at his brother before his eyes softened again and he took a deep breath. 

“To be honest Sam. It is a lot. I’m a dad now- like, for real. And Thel, I didn’t even know about him. Castiel had him alone. He was pregnant with my kid and at war with heaven and Raphael. And where was I? Oh yeah, I was playing house with Ben and Lisa.” Dean rubbed his hand down his face. “He came to me Sam. I didn’t see him, but he was there. He was going to tell me, to ask for help. But he said that he didn’t want to drag me back into hunting.” The older Winchester sighed heavily. 

“Dean, I get it. Or hell, I don’t, but it’s not your fault. How were you supposed to know that Cas was there, that he needed help. And about Thel? It’s not even possible. A dude, pregnant? This isn’t on you.” Sam convinced, grabbing his brother by his shoulders. 

“Yeah, but he’s been hiding this, living with the knowledge of giving away his baby, our baby, for so long. You should have heard him Sammy. He was heartbroken about Thel’s family and him having to take care of himself. He thought I would hate him for it.” Dean stressed. 

I failed to keep our baby safe. Castiel's words echoed in his head. 

Sam released Dean's shoulder, effectively dragging him out of his thoughts. 

“Dean. We'll get him back. It's going to be okay.” Sam told him. Dean just nodded, he didn't really believe Sam but he had to hope.


	12. Pain and Mortification

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REALLY Dark chapter, guys. Please don't read if it makes you uncomfortable. 
> 
> [Rape/Non-Con]

Castiel sat in his cell. His ass hurt, his eyes were wet from crying and his throat sore from screaming for them to stop. They hadn't.

 

The ‘being’ turned out to be a demon scientist and doctor, who studies angels and angelic biology. Castiel was his perfect science project. Daily, he would have some brutes come and drag him into the operating room and then have all sorts of experiments done on him.

 

After the first few days of unsuccessfully trying to open up into the angel's womb they started trying to coax it into opening. The demon told him that maybe it would open if it seemed like Castiel was trying to reproduce. 

 

The first few times they used a phallic object to insert the semen. That didn't work; the womb hadn’t opened and the seed didn't catch. 

 

They had then gotten one of Crowley's men to use Castiel to see if that would work. Castiel cried the entire time from pain and absolute mortification. But they said it didn't work. Castiel wasn't sure what he wanted anymore; whether he wanted to resist from getting impregnated or whether he wanted it to happen just to make them stop. 

 

Castiel massaged his temples, reliving what had just happened. It hadn't felt real. None of this felt real. But at the same time, it felt all too real. He didn't want it to be. But it was. He was trapped in hell, his weak self had let himself get captured, beaten and abused, everyday. Everyday he woke up in pain and then fell asleep in pain. But today had been the worst of them all.

 

Castiel had been lying on the table waiting for the day’s pain to arrive, when he heard sobbing. The voice had been a man's voice. He was begging; begging for something. 

 

Castiel had heard the door open and then suddenly the table was turned vertical and Castiel was looking into the red and swollen eyes of a grown man. He was of a smaller build and had short bleach blond hair. 

 

“I'm sorry.” He said, there was hesitation in his voice. “They said they'd hurt my family- I don't want to do this, but my baby girls… you understand don't you?” the blond man choked out. Castiel realized what he was here for. A human. Nephilim are angel-human hybrids.

 

Castiel nodded- he did understand. He couldn't let this man's family get hurt because of his discomfort and fear. _This probably wouldn't even work_ , he reassured himself Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He could bear this. He had been hurt on many occasions and lived to tell the tale. Maybe not in this way but it couldn't be that much different (Castiel knew very well that it was.)

 

Castiel heard a belt get unbuckled and heard the man's pants fall to the floor. A few minutes went in silence. The angel flinched when he suddenly felt a hand on his hip. He cried out and slammed his head back onto the steel table when he felt the blond ease his way inside- he was sore and he ached from the abuse. 

 

“I'm sorry- I'm so, so sorry.” the man sobbed. Castiel tried to remind himself that he too was being as much assaulted as Castiel. So he only tried to swallow the lump in his throat, “It's okay. I- hng- I understand.” Castiel whimpered. 

 

“No it's not. I'm hurting you. I'm…  _ raping  _ you.” He whispered, still moving in and out the the angel's body. 

 

Castiel opened his eyes and looked the man in the eye, “You're just as much the victim here as I am.” He said before closing his eyes and leaning his head back. He tried to tune out the man's groans and think of something else. He thought of _his_ family; Dean, Sam and Theliel. _As long as they were safe, as long as they were safe._ Castiel repeated the mantra in his head. This this won't even work. He probably won't even open up and all this pain for both of them would be for naught. 

 

The two sobbed in silence as their bodies worked against them. Castiel whined as the man grunted and flooded the restrained angel with his seed. Castiel used to loved the feel of Dean's cum inside him, marking him as his- but this is the worst Castiel had ever felt. This was nothing like what it had been with Dean.

 

The man finished inside of him and pulled out, making Castiel hiss from pain. He could feel the thick liquid slowly start to leak out of him as the blond got dressed.

 

Before the man stepped out of the door he turned towards Castiel, “I- I’m sorry. I’ll do anything to make it up to you.” He whispered, not wanting the demons to hear him. Castiel nodded.

 

“The only thing you can do for me is forget me, don’t blame yourself for this. Forget all of this- go, go take care of your family.” Castiel told him softly.  _Go do what I can't_. The man smiled sadly at him before stepping out of the room.  

 

After he had left, the doctor had returned and did some experiments. When the demons came to drag him back to his cold and unwelcoming cell, Castiel didn't have the energy to put up any sort of fight. 

 

The next day the being told him that it hadn't worked, the man's seed hadn't caught. Castiel didn't know how they would know from only one day but they did. He didn't know if he should cry from relief or dread. 

 

The original method took place the day after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED FOR A LITTLE WHILE, I'VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND MY COUNTRY'S VERSION OF S.A.T'S. I've also never had worse writers block, but I still do think school has been the main factor in me not writing much. I will hopefully have time to write more in the future, but for now here's another chapter!


	13. The making of a family

“So, how did you and Cas get together?” Thel asked his father as they drove. Dean choked on his tongue in response.

 

“What- what do you mean?” Dean asked cluelessly, keeping his eyes firmly on the road.

 

“Well, it was obvious that you and papa weren't actually together when you came here. You acted strangely around each other; like something was there maybe- but not really.  _ But _ like, if you weren't together, how did I happen?” Thel articulated. Sam looked over at his brother, impressed. ‘Wow’ he mouthed. Thel was quite the detective.

 

“Yeah, okay. Well, here's the thing. This all went down while we were fighting Lucifer-”

 

“What? When and how did this happen? Where was I?” Sam asked. How didn’t he nor Bobby  _ hear _ them. 

 

Dean blushed before stuttering, “Well- uh… It was like, uh.” He paused, “ _ itwasastressreliefethingwehadgoingon.”  _

 

“What was that? I didn’t hear a word you said.” Sam looked at him confused. Dean glanced over at Thel who was staring back at him expectantly. 

 

The older hunter cleared his throat, “So, uh, Cas and I weren’t actually in a  _ relationship _ .” 

 

Sam choked on nothing, his coughing fit turning into fully fledged laughter. Thel looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole. He did not want to know about his dads’ friends with benefits relationship. 

 

“Ew.” is all Thel said. Sam laughed harder and Dean couldn't help but smile. After everybody had calmed back down, Sam realized something.

 

“But uh, didn't- didn't you go to live with Ben and Lisa after I- “ he glanced over at Thel, “-Y'know.” 

 

Dean's face hardened at the mention of his past lover and child. Suddenly the air was different in the vehicle. “Yeah. Yeah I did.” he gritted through his teeth.

 

Sam looked at him worried. “That means-" 

 

“It means that papa had me alone.” Thel voiced from the back seat, his tone sorrowful. 

 

Dean gripped the steering wheel tight, his knuckles turning white. He stared intently at the road as he drove, guilt rushing through him. 

 

“Yes.” He said hoarsely. “I left your father not realizing what I was leaving behind.” He confessed, looking into Thel’s eyes with the rear-view mirror.  

 

Silence loomed once again.

 

“If- if you would have known… would you- would you have stayed? Would you have wanted me? Or papa?” Theliel asked with caution. 

 

Dean stopped the car. He opened the door and got out. Gavreel sunk further into his seat wishing he was anywhere else than here. 

 

Dean had walked around the car and opened Thel’s door. The older hunter crouched down and stared his son in the eye.

 

“Theliel. Leaving that room where your papa and I said our goodbyes was the biggest mistake of my life.” He grabbed a hold of Thel’s upper arms. “I left this life behind, I left  _ Castiel _ behind thinking I'd be happy. And sure, I was for a little while. But then I started getting this constant feeling of needing to be somewhere. Like someone was calling me, but I had no idea who was calling or where it came from.” 

 

Dean rubbed up and down his son's arms, “I realize now that- that was your father's Grace calling out for me. You calling out for me.” He told him.

 

Sam was shocked- Dean had never told him this.

 

Dean smiled wistfully. “If I could go back in time and be there when you were born. Be there when you first smiled, when you started teething, your first  _ word _ . I would. Just know Thel, for as long as you're in my weird ass life, I'm never going to let you get hurt. I've never been good at long lasting relationships, even with Sammy-” He gestured towards his brother. “-and I can't promise that I won't mess it up. But please know that no matter how much I fuck this up- fuck  _ us _ up- I mean well.” 

 

Sam gaped at his brother. He was really turning over a new leaf. He was like a different man. Was this what he was like with Ben and Lisa?

  
  


~~~

  
  
  


Castiel was laying down on the hard concrete bench when he heard shuffling. The door to the dungeon opened and then closed. The angel sat up slowly, the ache in his lower half not as prominent any longer, but still an ache. 

 

“Ahh, my favourite angel!” Crowley spoke enthusiastically, throwing his arms up. Castiel's only response was an angry glower. 

 

“You're no fun, Feathers.” The demon king complained. “Well, anyway. I have good news.” He announced. 

 

Castiel's demeanor changed as he heard those words. No, it couldn't be…

 

“Congratulations Castiel! You're  _ pregnant _ !” he sing-songed. 

 

Castiel couldn't breathe. This- this couldn't be happening! No, no. He placed a hand on his abdomen as tears formed in his eyes. 

 

“No, no.” He begged, he didn’t want this to be true. 

 

Crowley mimicked him, “‘No, no’  _ Yes.  _ You've got a baby in there.” He gestured to Castiel's stomach. 

 

“Who… Whose is it…” he asked cautiously. He had to know; know whose child he was carrying. Maybe it was some nameless demon. Or some poor human like the man from a week ago. Maybe it was-  _ no.  _

 

Maybe it was Crowley's. 

 

Castiel felt sick. No. It wasn't going to be his. No. 

 

“Well, no other than the original.  _ Dean Winchester _ .” He stated simply as if was the most obvious thing in the world. Castiel looked at him in shock and confusion. 

 

“How. How is that even  _ possible _ ? How did you get- uh.” the angel didn't finish as he stood up and stepped over to the bars. 

 

Crowley smiled, “Oh sweetheart. You don't wanna know.” He reached in through the bars and patted Castiel on the cheek before leaving. 

 

Castiel didn't know how long he stood there. How long he stood by the bars, trying to compute all the new and shocking information. 

 

Crowley had finally gotten what he wanted. He chuckled dejectedly moving over to the wannabe bed. Castiel took as deep breath. This was happening- it was happening again. 

 

Suddenly Castiel was filled with rage. He shot up from his seat and punched the concrete wall next to him repeatedly. There was a loud  _ crunch _ as his hand broke. He was so wound up that he didn't even noticed the pain. He kept hitting the wall with all his might as he yelled and swore. 

 

His throws got weaker and weaker as his shouting slowly turned into sobbing. Soon he was crying as he slid down to the floor. He looked down at his hands through tears. The skin on the knuckles was now a bloody mess, his right hand was broken and his nails red, ripped and bleeding from his attacks to the wall. 

 

“You keep letting yourself get used. Why do you do this.” He scolded himself. “You're really nothing but a tool, an object, a plaything people pass around to use as they see fit.” He mumbled to himself. His voice was filled with self-loathing.

 

He stood up from his place on the floor and moved to the corner of the cell. He sat back down on the floor, not wanting to sit on the bench.

 

“Heaven used you. Metatron used you. Lucifer used you. Crowley is  _ using _ you. And you just let them.” The next came out as a whisper, “Even Dean.” He curled up into himself and not before long he finally cried himself to sleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Gavreel having to put up with this family drama XD
> 
> Sorry I didn't post for like two week, I've been cursed with writers-block, school and the hecking plague or something ( The flu)
> 
> I've only got two other chapters ready to publish so updates might be a bit slow after that. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	14. Let's make a deal

Dean straightened his back as he got up from the floor. The reaper trap had been drawn on the floor and the spell was almost ready to be cast. 

 

No one had said much as they set it up. They were all worried about the summoning and what was to come. Dean couldn't help the anger he felt towards Crowley currently. Dean just found his family and the demon had come and taken it away from him again. 

 

Dean scowled as he stalked over to where Sam was putting the ingredients into the bowl. Gavreel stood behind the drawing, ready for literally everything to go wrong. Thel and Dean stood on either side of Sam. 

 

The younger hunter looked between Gavreel and Dean, nodding. “Is everybody ready?” 

 

Thel stepped in, “Uhm, like. I know the plan but, y'know what's the plan…?” he asked looking at his father and uncle.

 

Sam cleared his throat, but Dean beat him to it. “We’re gonna summon this reaper, give him the offer and go and get your papa.” He stated simply. 

 

Thel nodded dumbly, “Okay, okay. But, like, what’s this offer. Do we have an offer? Do we have anything  _ to  _ offer?” He said slightly panicked.

 

“Well, we’re gonna-” 

 

“They’re going to help us or face the consequences.” Dean said hard faced. But when he saw Thel’s terrified face his own softened. “But it might not even come to that. It's just worst case scenario.” he told his son. 

  
  
  


~~~

  
  
  


A very pissed off looking man stood in the middle of the trap looking at the Winchester family. The reaper wasn’t happy about being summoned and ensnared in this ambush of theirs.

 

“You want me to do  _ what _ ?” He asked as if they were insane. This plan was ridiculous.

 

Sam took a deep breath. “We want you to help us get into hell and then back. We need to get something and the only way to get in is through a reaper.” He replied simply. He tried to act as confident as possible in this situation, he was really worried that the reaper wouldn’t agree to this and they’d have to go back to square one.  

 

The reaper laughed, it was a full-bellied laugh. Sam and Dean glanced at each other nervously.  

 

“Oh really? Is that how it is? And what would I get in return  _ boy _ ?” He directed the question at Theliel who stood determined behind his father and uncle. He glared back at the man standing in the middle of the empty warehouse. 

 

“Well, first of all.” He began in an unbelievably threatening tone for a fourteen year old. “You might see the light of day again. Get out of this trap even.” He took a step forward, the sound of lightning echoing from miles away. The reaper looked taken aback. 

 

“You’re the Nephilim- the one everyone is looking for aren’t you?” He asked carefully. He had heard rumors about a Nephilim being found. But he hadn’t realized he was a Winchester. Of course he was a Winchester. 

 

“Yes, and If you don’t help us I’ll rain down on you with all the righteous fury I’ve been storing away for fourteen years.” Theliel warned. Dean couldn’t help but grin at his son- Castiel’s side of him was really shining through. He was a little worried about where he was taking this though. Thel had no idea how to control his powers, never mind using them against a reaper. 

 

Sam put a hand on Theliel’s shoulder, “We’ll even give you something in return, should you choose to accept.” He said calmly. Theliel looked up to him and nodded, stepping back, but not leaving the scene. 

 

The reaper looked over at Gavreel who stood silently behind everyone, simply observing. “So, what are your views on this  _ angel _ .” He asked him, “What are you getting from helping these selfish hooligans?” Gavreel straightened his back, clearing his throat. 

 

“Nothing more than to prove my siblings wrong. Helping the nephilim succeed is most likely the best way to teach them that the nephilim were never the monsters.” He answered simply, shocking all three of the Winchesters. He had never actually told them why he was helping them. He was not just trying to help  _ them _ , but also all the nephilim thereafter. 

 

The reaper hummed, “Yes, the angels seem pretty hellbent on nephilim being evil-” 

 

“Why?” Theliel suddenly questioned. Everybody’s attention was on the boy. “Why do they hate me -and my kind- so much?” He didn’t understand. He wasn’t evil, he didn’t crave human flesh or want to bathe in pools of their blood. 

 

The reaper looked at him, Thel couldn’t quite pinpoint what facial expression he was wearing, but it didn’t look hostile. “Once, a long, long time ago the angels were settled in heaven. They had everything they needed there. God was there to help them, guide them when they felt lost. And that's all that mattered to them.” he folded his arms and stared into nothing as if he was trying to remember how the story went. “When God left- to put it elegantly- everything went to shit. The angels didn’t know what to do. They had no orders, no…  _ purpose  _ per say. That’s how it all started, the angels went down to earth, they mated with humans, had them bear their children.” The reaper’s eyes turned darker. 

 

He walked closer to the edge of the trap, making Dean grip the handle of his angel blade tighter. “They raised the nephilim to be warriors, raised them for one purpose- to kill. There were massacres, hundreds of innocent children, which the nephilim essentially were, killed in battle, thousands of women who lost both their lovers and children. It took multiple hundreds of years for the angelic race to realize the destruction they had caused while  _ using _ these nephilim. But since most angels seem incompetent to own up to their mistakes- they murdered all of them, every nephilim ever born, then proceed to blame the nephilim themselves, calling them abominations, they were later forbidden, as well as any human-angel relations.” 

 

Everybody but Gavreel gaped at the reaper, the angel seemed a bit put off, angry from being reminded of his brethren’s mistakes. But he agreed nonetheless. Everything the being in the ring of chalk said was true. “Everything he said is correct.” Gavreel began. “All of those innocent people and nephilim. They didn’t ask for what happened to them, and certainly not to be blamed by their fathers for the murders they were forced to commit.” 

 

Theliel perked up at the angel’s wording, “Wait, you said ‘fathers’, as in ‘blamed by their  _ fathers _ ’ are you saying none of the angel carried the nephilim themselves- like papa did?” he asked, slightly concerned, he could only imagine how scared his father would have been, never having seen anything like that before. Being the first to experience that.

 

The corner of Gavreel’s mouth pulled up into a small smile, “Castiel has always been one of a kind.” He turned to face the boy, “It’s not just the humans who think the male is the superior gender. And giving yourself up to a human, no angel would give up their dominance to one. It’s seen as disgraceful.” 

 

The words twisted Dean’s guts, from the first time he had kissed the angel, put his hands on him, held his arms above his head as he had given the angel pleasure he had never known- he'd been dragging him down away from grace, making him a ‘disgrace to heaven’. He hated that he was the reason Castiel fell.

 

Dean growled, “It doesn’t matter what the angels think, all that we care about is if you’re gonna help us or not. It’s your choice. Help us, maybe get something in return. Or, we can kill you and move onto the next reaper.” He stated, he tried to keep his voice steady, he was almost fuming with anger. Anger towards what? He didn’t know.

 

“I suppose halo there has a point,” The reaper nodded his head towards Gavreel, “I know I shouldn’t meddle with human, or angel, affairs, but seeing as you offer such a good deal with me having to choose between this or death, I will take it.” Theliel was about to start celebrating but the reaper continued. “But, you must bring me something in return.” 

 

_ There it is _ , Dean thought to himself. He looked over at his brother who gave him a worried look before turning back to the reaper. He sighed, “What do you want.” it was more of a statement that a question.

 

The reaper huffed out a laugh, “Well, if you’re already going to hell, I need you to save me a trip and get another thing out while you’re there. There was a small mishap and a soul got misplaced.” 

 

“Where would we find this soul.” Sam asked, “Because if you don’t know, we obviously don’t have time to look.” He was going to read all the fine print for this  _ deal _ .

 

“It wasn’t meant to go there so it doesn’t have an assigned place-” Thel groaned and Dean went to protest but the reaper wasn’t finished, “ _ But _ , that also means it can probably be found in the place lost things go.” Now it was Dean’s turn to groan.

 

“Okay, thanks Mary Poppins, but where the hell is that?” He complained. Thel chuckled, making everybody look at him, “What?” Dean asked his son.

 

“Heh, where the  _ hell _ is that. Get it,  _ hell _ \- no. Just me? Okay. Imma stop. Now. I’m sorry.” 

 

They looked back over to the reaper, who spoke, “Close to the holding cells- where your precious angel most likely is- is a corridor, much smaller than the main corridors and much harder to find. Down this corridor you will most likely find cages full of lost souls, ones that aren’t supposed to be there. There will be hundreds, but lucky for you, you only need to find one.” he explained to them, holding a single finger up in a count. 

 

It was Theliel who spoke up next, “How the fuck are we supposed to find this one dude if there’s like, a hundred souls or whatever?” 

 

The reaper remained expressionless, “He has recently been misplaced, so he will be near the entrance. Not hard to find. Though the souls are not on the rack, being there, trapped for eternity, surrounded by nothing is torment enough, the soul you are after will be the most lucid person in that room. You grab them and leave immediately, do not take anyone else and don’t- do  _ not  _ interact with any of the other souls.” He said sternly.

 

“Is it a deal then?” Dean asked, folding his arms menacingly, his eyebrow raised.

 

The reaper's lips stretched into an eerie smile, “I guess it is.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, sorry it took me so long to post another chapter- I was gonna write an excuse but I have nothing but my laziness as my defense soooooo.
> 
> But anywho, sweeties. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was pretty story/lore heavy but it had to be done XD


	15. A new life

 

Castiel had had four days of solitude since he found out about his pregnancy. He was torn, absolutely broken and confused. Crowley had gotten what he wanted. A nephilim had been conceived, from a broken angel and the righteous man. Theliel had an unborn sibling. It felt unreal.

 

Castiel had sat in the same corner for most of the four days, a hand on his abdomen the entire time. There was nothing there yet- no indication that anything was wrong. He hadn't had time to think about his pregnancy when he was carrying Theliel, but now it’s the only thing he could do. There was a cluster of cells inside him that would soon develop into a child. But despite the circumstances, he knew that he needed to protect them at all costs. Nothing could take them away from him, him and Dean.

 

Dean.

 

He’d been in shock about Theliel’s existence, how would he react to another child. What if he didn’t want them? Would he ask him to do the unimaginable? Castiel didn’t know if he could do that. Dean looked like he’d take well to Theliel though. Why would he react differently to his other child? But how would Castiel explain the conception of their baby. How would he tell Dean that he was abused and violated until the hunter’s seed had caught? Would he resent them for that? 

 

But he soon realised that none of that matters if he didn’t get out of there. He would carry the baby to term, give birth to them and then have them taken away, probably to be turned into the monsters the angels used to train. Castiel would probably be impregnated again before repeating the process over and over again. He felt ill at the thought. He needs to get out of here- and fast. 

 

He tried to figure out a plan, for some reason he had even more drive to escape than before- and that had been a lot. It might have been since it was a comfort knowing that Theliel was safe with Sam and Dean. But now he had to protect the fetus from Crowley and his men.    

 

It hit him how ridiculous that was- how much power a cluster of cells had on his consciousness. He laughed. It was exactly how he had felt when he found out about Theliel. He knew it wasn't even a living thing yet but for some reason he felt the overwhelming need to protect them.  _ Them _ . He had already humanised it. He'd turned them from a collection of cells to a living baby with a single thought. 

 

A living baby that he needs to protect. 

 

He stood up from where he sat in the corner  of the room and starting to assess his surroundings. He needed to formulate some kind of plan of escape. The only way to do that is to know where everything is and where everything goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is a reeeeaaaaally short chapter, sorry about that. The next one is much, much longer so that kinda makes up for it. Thanks for reading!


	16. The first attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't beta read this, all mistakes are mine <333

They had just gotten back to Dean and Thel's motel room. Sam and Dean were putting away the items that they had used for the spell. Theliel sat on his bed, thinking.

 

“Hey guys?” He suddenly spoke, Sam and Dean looked up at him. “I, uh- I was thinking. Do I have like, some kind of connection with papa? Like, since he's an angel and I'm his half-angel son-offspring-something whatever- so our, what are they called again..? Uh, oh. Grace, yeah. Is our Grace connected somehow?” The youngest Winchester rambled.

 

“What do you mean? What kind of connection?” Sam inquired, they could maybe use this connection to help them find Cas.

 

“Well, it's like-” he stopped to think for a moment.

 

“I can feel him. His emotions, I mean. I didn't tell you guys sooner because I didn't know what the fuck was going on. But anyways- I could feel that he was in pain.” He stated, making Dean sit up straighter as worry filled him, both about his son and lover. “I could feel his pain- both emotional and- uh, body, like… physical! Physical pain. Well, I can't  _ feel _ it per say, I just kinda knew about it. I could feel that he felt it. If that makes sense…” He shrugged with a confused frown.

 

Theliel worried his lower lip between his teeth. “Dad, he seemed scared. He was scared.”

 

Sam perked up, “Wait.  _ Was _ . You said ‘was’. Can you still feel him, is he any different?” He questioned. Theliel nodded, still deep in thought.

 

“Yeah, I can. But now his emotions are all over the shop. Like he doesn't know how to feel. He suddenly started feeling really happy and shit, but then sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling of pure dread. It comes in spikes. Sometimes worse than other times. D-dad, I’m worried. He’s not okay is he?” his voice felt shaky. He’d only known his family for about two months but it feels like he’s kind of always known them. Which entails feelings of worry and concern.

 

Dean sighed, “I- I don’t know what to tell you. This- this is all news to me.” He saw that Theliel was about to apologize again but he stopped him, “Thel. This is not on you, you don’t have to apologize. You didn’t know what that feeling was and no one can blame you. It took me way longer to figure out when Cas was calling out to me.” He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Theliel smiled weakly.

 

“We’re gonna get him back, right? We’re gonna get papa back?” Thel stammered, his voice small, his facade suddenly collapsed. He hunched his back and pulled in on himself from where he sat on the bed. Dean's protective instincts kicked in and he strode over to where his son sat on the bed. He sat down next to him, making Thel look up from his hands and up at his father. 

 

For not the first time, Dean saw Castiel in Thel as he looked up at him. His big, sad, blue eyes, slightly pointy nose and a jaw that was probably going to grow into a soft but sharp jawline like Castiel’s after puberty had blown over. 

 

“Hey, we’re gonna get him back. I swear to you, I am going to get your papa back. We are  _ going _ to get him back.” The sentence felt weird in his mouth, but he felt like he could get used to it. A month ago if someone would have told him that he would be referring to Cas, who would be his lover, as ‘Papa’ while comforting his fourteen year old kid he would have punched them in the face and then most likely stab them for good measure. But now- it feels like it’s always been like this. This was how it was supposed to be.

  
  


~~~

  
  
  
  


Castiel’s hands shook slightly but he hid it as two of Crowley’s goons came in to probably bring him into the demon doctor's work room. Castiel had a plan but he was still slightly nervous. There were so many ways this could go wrong. He was powered down due to whatever was in the back of his neck. He had tried scratching it out but it had been too painful- both from it scraping his spinal cord, pulling on the sensitive skin around it, and then his still healing hands.

 

The brutes opened the door and walked in, angel blades in hand, getting ready to drag the angel into the lab. Castiel let them drag him up from the bed and walked him over to the open cell door. But as soon as they made it to the door Castiel pulled his right arm out of the demon’s hold and elbowed him in the stomach, grabbing his angel blade and stabbing him in the throat. He whipped around and punched the other in the face, listening with sick pleasure as their nose broke. The demon staggered back, his hands cupping his broken and bleeding nose. Castiel took the chance to stab it in the abdomen and then drag the blade up through its body just for good measures. 

 

He regretted it slightly as his stomach churned at the blood gushing from the demon’s borrowed body. Castiel placed a hand in his mouth trying to will the vomit back down into his stomach. It didn’t work and Castiel ran over to the corner of the cell and vomited on the floor. He was kind of glad he had eaten not that long ago because he’d rather vomit actual food rather than dry heave. That was more painful. There were tears streaming down his face when he finished, his other hand placed on the wall to steady him as he composed himself. 

 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before walking over to the entrance to his cell. He hadn’t missed the morning sickness he’d been having and couldn’t wait until he got out of his first trimester when it would lessen. One of the worse side effects of pregnancy.

 

He looked out into the hall, peeking both ways before exiting his cell and sneaking down the hall to his right. The narrow, cobblestone hallways felt constricting and the darkness made him feel uneasy. He never liked Hell. 

 

His head whipped around when he heard running coming towards him. The doctor must have been suspicious over how long it took and sent someone to check on him. He started to sprint down the maze of corridors, trying both to outrun the demons and find a way out. Due to the pregnancy and the confinement of his grace he was basically human. He was at his most vulnerable at that moment. His chest heaved with exhaustion but he ignored it as he raced towards what he hoped was some kind of exit. He knew what the door out of Hell looked like, he just needed to get to somewhere he recognized. 

 

The corridor led him into a big room where multiple other halls were connected to- thankfully, he’d been here before. That meant he knew where the exit was from here. He kept himself from celebrating early, he still needed to actually escape. He jogged over to the hall that he knew lead to the door out of Hell, he breathed hard from fatigue, but he didn’t have time for fatigue, he needed to get himself and the little one out of Hell as soon as possible. 

 

He ran through what he knew was the last corridor before he reached the exit he recognised. The badly lit corridor made it hard to see if he had taken the right turn, Hell's hallways were like a maze. He suddenly entered a slightly bigger tunnel where, to his right, there was a staircase leading to his escape route. The exit was a wooden door, a single door to make it look less suspicious- they didn't want anyone to get out, now did they. Castiel had never been so relieved to see a door before, he felt his stomach tighten. He was so close.

 

When he was about a fraction of an inch away from the door, everything stopped. His whole body went still in mid air. The only thing that could move being his heart, lungs and eyes.

 

He heard someone slowly walk up behind him, stopping so close to him that he could feel their breath on the back of his neck. He had a feeling he knew who this was. 

 

His suspicions were confirmed when the person behind him hummed as they slid their hands down his back, down to his ass and then moving back up to his waist. The doctor gripped it tight as they spoke, “Aww, you didn't think I'd let you go so easily, did you now princess?” It asked, fake innocence in his voice. It had taken to feminine nicknames over the course of the last weeks, Castiel heard a ‘baby boy’ every now and then as well. At first he didn't get the nicknames, but later realized that they were all names he had heard in pornography. He really felt sick that day.

 

The demon slowly moved its hands down Castiel's abdomen towards his crotch. “Not before we have any fun now?” It's deceptively soft voice unnerved Castiel. But before the doctor could touch him he heard someone whistle loudly. 

 

“Hey, arsewipe. No sampling the merchandise!” It was Crowley. The angel never thought he'd say this but he was so glad Crowley was there. The hands on his body slowly pulled away, but not without brushing across his hips and up his sides. He shuddered in disgust as the demon touched him. 

As the demon moved away Castiel breathed a little lighter. Castiel was quickly turned on his heel by the same force keeping him frozen. He saw Crowley’s ugly smirk as he walked up to the angel. When Crowley had made all the way up to Castiel he huffed, “You’re pretty smart, I have to say feathers. But not smart enough. That  _ thing _ in the back of your neck let’s me control your movements so your little escape trick was fun, but pointless. As long as the contraption is connected to your spine, you’re not going anywhere.” Castiel glared at him before spitting in his face. Crowley calmly wiped the spit off his face. “Oh angel, you’re gonna regret that. 

 

The demon snapped his fingers and suddenly Castiel fell to the floor and suddenly felt as if his entire body was on fire. He felt his muscles spasm and tears form in his eyes as he cried out in pain. He writhed on the floor as Crowley spoke, “I don’t think the baby’s gonna like that. Maybe if it happens too many times your body won't like it either, huh. Maybe it’ll think it’s unfit to to carry the baby and then- oops, bye bye baby.” 

 

Castiel’s heart sunk, he hadn’t even thought about the risk of miscarriage. He knew that he couldn’t let that happen, he couldn’t lose his baby. Frankly, it was ridiculous. He shouldn’t want to keep this baby. It would only bring more complications into the equation. But he was just already so attached. He was already so attached to a baby was barely even a fetus yet. 

 

The pain finally stopped and Castiel could catch his breath. Crowley grabbed the collar of the angel’s shirt and pulled it up to his own face. “Do you understand,  _ Castiel _ .” Castiel nodded weakly. He curled up in on himself, as if to protect his child from harm.

 

_It was worth a try_ , Castiel thought as he lost consciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how frequent these chapters are going to be up, both because I've been really depressed and I'm a bit put off supernatural because of the script writing and stuff. I'm not abandoning this story because I love it so much and you guys are really nice and supportive.
> 
> This is a really long chapter for you, just to make up for the lack of ones for the next while.


	17. Worth a try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I'M BIG DUMB IGNORE THIS CHAPTER IT'S THE SAME CHAPTER I UPLOADED IT TWICE GOOD JOB ME.

They had just gotten back to Dean and Thel's motel room. Sam and Dean were putting away the items that they had used for the spell. Theliel sat on his bed, thinking.

 

“Hey guys?” He suddenly spoke, Sam and Dean looked up at him. “I, uh- I was thinking. Do I have like, some kind of connection with papa? Like, since he's an angel and I'm his half-angel son-offspring-something or whatever- so our, what is it called again..? Uh, oh. Grace, yeah. Is our Grace connected somehow?” The youngest Winchester rambled.

 

“What do you mean? What kind of connection?” Sam inquired, they could maybe use this connection to help them find Cas.

 

“Well, it's like-” he stopped to think for a moment.

 

“I can feel him. His emotions, I mean. I didn't tell you guys sooner because I didn't know what the fuck was going on. But anyways- I could feel that he was in pain.” He stated, making Dean sit up straighter as worry filled him, both about his son and lover. “I could feel his pain- both emotional and- uh, body, like… physical! Physical pain. Well, I can't  _ feel _ it per say, I just kinda knew about it. I could feel that he felt it. If that makes sense…” He shrugged with a confused frown.

 

Theliel worried his lower lip between his teeth. “Dad, he seemed scared. He was scared.”

 

Sam perked up, “Wait.  _ Was _ . You said ‘was’. Can you still feel him, is he any different?” He questioned. Theliel nodded, still deep in thought.

 

“Yeah, I can. But now his emotions are all over the shop. Like he doesn't know how to feel. He suddenly started feeling really happy and shit, but then sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling of pure dread. It comes in spikes. Sometimes worse than other times. D-dad, I’m worried. He’s not okay is he?” his voice felt shaky. He’d only known his family for about two months but it feels like he’s kind of always known them. Which entails feelings of worry and concern.

 

Dean sighed, “I- I don’t know what to tell you. This- this is all news to me.” He saw that Theliel was about to apologize again but he stopped him, “Thel. This is not on you, you don’t have to apologize. You didn’t know what that feeling was and no one can blame you. It took me way longer to figure out when Cas was calling out to me.” He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Theliel smiled weakly.

 

“We’re gonna get him back, right? We’re gonna get papa back?” Thel stammered, his voice small, his facade suddenly collapsed. He hunched his back and pulled in on himself from where he sat on the bed. Dean's protective instincts kicked in and he strode over to where his son sat on the bed. He sat down next to him, making Thel look up from his hands and up at his father. 

 

Not for the first time, Dean saw Castiel in Thel as he looked up at him. His big, sad, blue eyes, slightly pointy nose and a jaw that was probably going to grow into a soft but sharp jawline like Castiel’s after puberty had blown over. 

 

“Hey, we’re gonna get him back. I swear to you, I am going to get your papa back. We are  _ going _ to get him back.” The sentence felt weird in his mouth, but he felt like he could get used to it. A month ago if someone would have told him that he would be referring to Cas, who would be his lover, as ‘Papa’ while comforting his fourteen year old kid he would have punched them in the face and then most likely stab them for good measure. But now- it feels like it’s always been like this. This was how it was supposed to be.

  
  


~~~

  
  
  
  


Castiel’s hands shook slightly but he hid it as two of Crowley’s goons came in to probably bring him into the demon doctor's work room. Castiel had a plan but he was still slightly nervous. There were so many ways this could go wrong. He was powered down due to whatever was in the back of his neck. He had tried scratching it out but it had been too painful- both from it scraping his spinal cord, pulling on the sensitive skin around it, and then his still healing hands.

 

The brutes opened the door and walked in, angel blades in hand, getting ready to drag the angel into the lab. Castiel let them drag him up from the bed and walked him over to the open cell door. But as soon as they made it to the door Castiel pulled his right arm out of the demon’s hold and elbowed him in the stomach, grabbing his angel blade and stabbing him in the throat. He whipped around to punch the other in the face, listening with sick pleasure as their nose broke. The demon staggered back, his hands cupping his broken and bleeding nose. Castiel took the chance to stab it in the abdomen and then drag the blade up through its body just for good measures. 

 

He regretted it slightly as his stomach churned at the blood gushing from the demon’s borrowed body. Castiel placed a hand on his mouth trying to will the vomit back down into his stomach. It didn’t work and Castiel ran over to the corner of the cell and vomited on the floor. He was kind of glad he had eaten not that long ago because he’d rather vomit actual food rather than dry heave. That was more painful. There were tears streaming down his face when he finished, his other hand placed on the wall to steady him as he composed himself. 

 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before walking over to the entrance to his cell. He hadn’t missed the morning sickness he’d been having and couldn’t wait until he got out of his first trimester when it would lessen. One of the worse side effects of pregnancy.

 

He looked out into the hall, peeking both ways before exiting his cell and sneaking down the hall to his right. The narrow, cobblestone hallways felt constricting and the darkness made him feel uneasy. He never liked Hell. 

 

His head whipped around when he heard running coming towards him. The doctor must have been suspicious over how long it took and sent someone to check on him. He started to sprint down the maze of corridors, trying both to outrun the demons and find a way out. Due to the pregnancy and the confinement of his grace he was basically human. He was at his most vulnerable at that moment. His chest heaved with exhaustion but he ignored it as he raced towards what he hoped was some kind of exit. He knew what the door out of Hell looked like, he just needed to get to somewhere he recognized. 

 

The corridor led him into a big room where multiple other halls were connected to- thankfully, he’d been here before. That meant he knew where the exit was from here. He kept himself from celebrating early, he still needed to actually escape. He jogged over to the hall that he knew lead to the door out of Hell, he breathed hard from fatigue, but he didn’t have time for fatigue, he needed to get himself and the little one out of Hell as soon as possible. 

 

He ran through what he knew was the last corridor before he reached the exit he recognized. The badly lit corridor made it hard to see if he had taken the right turn, Hell's hallways were like a maze. He suddenly entered a slightly bigger tunnel where, to his right, there was a staircase leading to his escape route. The exit was a wooden door, a single door to make it look less suspicious- they didn't want anyone to get out, now did they. Castiel had never been so relieved to see a door before, he felt his stomach tighten. He was so close.

 

When he was about a fraction of an inch away from the door, everything stopped. His whole body went still in mid air. The only thing that could move being his heart, lungs and eyes.

 

He heard someone slowly walk up behind him, stopping so close to him that he could feel their breath on the back of his neck. He had a feeling he knew who this was. 

 

His suspicions were confirmed when the person behind him hummed as they slid their hands down his back, down to his ass and then moving back up to his waist. The doctor gripped it tight as they spoke, “Aww, you didn't think I'd let you go so easily, did you now princess?” It asked, fake innocence in his voice. It had taken to feminine nicknames over the course of the last few weeks, Castiel heard a ‘baby boy’ every now and then as well. At first he didn't get the nicknames, but later realized that they were all names he had heard in pornography. He really felt even more sick that day.

 

The demon slowly moved its hands down Castiel's abdomen towards his crotch. “Not before we have any fun now?” It's deceptively soft voice unnerved Castiel. But before the doctor could touch him he heard someone whistle loudly. 

 

“Hey, arsewipe. No sampling the merchandise!” It was Crowley. The angel never thought he'd say this but he was so glad Crowley was there. The hands on his body slowly pulled away, but not without brushing across his hips and up his sides. He shuddered in disgust as the demon touched him. 

As the demon moved away Castiel breathed a little lighter. Castiel was quickly turned on his heel by the same force keeping him frozen. He saw Crowley’s ugly smirk as he walked up to the angel. When Crowley had made all the way up to Castiel he huffed, “You’re pretty smart, I have to say feathers. But not smart enough. That  _ thing _ in the back of your neck lets me control your movements so your little escape trick was fun, but pointless. As long as the contraption is connected to your spine, you’re not going anywhere.” Castiel glared at him before spitting in his face. Crowley calmly wiped the spit off his face. “Oh angel, you’re gonna regret that. 

 

The demon snapped his fingers and suddenly Castiel felt as if his entire body was on fire. He felt his muscles spasm and tears form in his eyes as he cried out in pain. He writhed on the floor as Crowley spoke, “I don’t think the baby’s gonna like that. Maybe if it happens too many times your body won't like it either, huh. Maybe it’ll think it’s unfit to to carry the baby and then- oops, bye bye baby.” 

 

Castiel’s heart sunk, he hadn’t even thought about the risk of miscarriage. He knew that he couldn’t let that happen, he couldn’t lose his baby. Frankly, it was ridiculous. He shouldn’t want to keep this baby. It would only bring more complications into the equation. But he was just already so attached. He was already so attached to a baby was barely even a fetus yet. 

 

The pain finally stopped and Castiel could catch his breath. Crowley grabbed the collar of the angel’s shirt and pulled it up to his own face. “Do you understand,  _ Castiel _ .” Castiel nodded weakly. 

 

It was worth a try, Castiel thought as he lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. A chapter of this fic- it's been a while, huh? I read this one over and saw that I'd also stated writing the next chapter as well. I'm going to try to finish that one too. Don't know when that'll be but hopefully soon XD
> 
> Thanks for being so patient. Also, all the comments on this fic asking me to continue have really inspired me, I almost cried. I'm so happy that people are actually enjoying this mess <333333

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's the thing. I don't know how long it's going to take me to finish this fic. I thought I'd post it so maybe the feedback I'll hopefully get will inspire me to continue. Thanks for reading, I love you guys <3 <3


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